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Post by jayden on Nov 3, 2010 19:43:02 GMT -8
 head strong ill take on anyone. Jayden had done little to his appearance from the afternoon to evening. At most, he went back home, donned on new clean clothes; a pair of jeans and a long sleeve button down shirt and his dog tags tucked neatly away under the layers and ran a brush back through his hair. That was one thing he really appreciated about fall and winter was that he never came home looking like he had run one hundred miles in the blistering heat. Summer in Texas was as brutal as it got, the unforgiving rays of the sun shows little mercy to those unfortunate enough to get caught out in the heat of the day.
At least in the cooler months he could take only one shower a day.
He was ready to go a good hour or so before he had to leave, so instead of sitting around and wasting time, as he did not sit still very well, he went out and bought some beer, since she had mentioned that she didn’t like wine, eventually he’d have to refine her tastes. Wandering up and down the liquor aisle at the grocery store close to his house he pondered on what she liked, compared prices and asked the opinions of people around him, who seemed reluctant to answer the seemingly cold-hearted six foot five soldier with a dead look in his eye.
But they answered nonetheless.
Eventually he settled on a six pack of Rockwall simply because it had a horse’s head on it, and he was sometimes inclined to buy things with equines promoting the product. He was kind of a sucker like that. As he checked out he looked down at his watch and smiled, he was right on time. He hated being early and he hated being late. But he was sure that he’d be there right on time. Looking down at his hand he frowned to see that part of her address had already started to fade, so perhaps he should have written it down on something a little more permanent, but he wasn’t opposed to wandering the neighborhoods until he found her stupid house.
Trial and error, that’s how he’d do it if he had to.
Taking his buy to his car he slid in and headed off to her house, keeping his hand near his face as he multi-tasked and manned the dark 7 o’clock roads, thanks to the time change. Eventually he found what he thought was her house and got out, bringing the offering of alcohol with him. Dismissing all nerves he reached forward and rung the bell, not even bothering to check that it was Jamie’s house for sure and as the door opened he said,
Ok, so. We’re not in high school anymore, you think next time you can logically write it down in my phone where your address won’t get washed away? And since you told me you have a very unrefined palate for alcohol, I brought some cheap shit that you’ll probably love.
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.5o4
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; aww, he spent little money on you, Jamie 8DDD
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Post by mouse on Nov 4, 2010 5:12:04 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
Jamie had gone home to shower because she did smell like the ass end of a horse and opted to clean a little bit. She wouldn't have to start dinner until closer to five so she set to cleaning up her house. It was a huge mess right now since she had barely been home at all in the past week or so. That took almost an hour and a half to do but once she was done, she was completely satisfied with her quaint little house. It wasn't huge but it wasn't terrible small, just the right size for her with two bedrooms and one and a half bath to keep her stuff in. The second bedroom was a guestroom which was more often used by her brother when he came to visit than by anyone else. She didn't have a computer room since she used her laptop more than her desktop and the little 'florida room' was a comfortable sitting room she used all year round.
Sighing, she started to prepare the noodle and the sauce to go in them, her hands working methodically. Watching her was quite mesmerizing since she moved in almost a trained way to the point she didn't seem to think about what she was supposed to be doing. Jamie just loved to cook and cooked so often that she barely thought about what was going on in the kitchen. It actually surprised her when the doorbell rang at exactly second o'clock, dinner being just about done so at least Jayden wouldn't be sitting around doing absolutely nothing. Looking at herself she shook her head, wearing jeans and a cute, somewhat low cut sweater that really showed off her body. Opening the door she was greeted with a beer-holding-babbling Jayden and she laughed about what he said. "Sorry, didn't think about it," she said gently, stepping back so he could come in.
He picked up beer for them, and it was Rockwell. "You're a good guesser, one of my favorite beers is Rockwell. I also have Guinness, Smithwicks and I forget what else I have in the fridge." That was one of Jamie's problems, she tended to forget what beer she had in the fridge and would get excited when she found the beer. Her house was warm inside compared to outside, smelling of a mix of cinnamon and hazelnut with a little dash of what she was cooking. When she turned the corner out came her dog, Rosco, wagging his long tail and almost falling over from wiggling from excitement. "Heh, sorry, he's supposed to stay downstairs with the ferrets and my brothers Great Dane," she shook her head, taking Rosco's collar gently. The Great Dane puppy looked up at her gently and she rubbed his head, sending him back down the steps. Jamie left the door open so they could at least come to the top of the steps where the gate was, let them beg for food if they wanted to.
"Here you can put the beer in the fridge," she smiled, going over to check on the gnochi and the sauce she had made. "I hope you like cheese and noodles. I made cheese and spinach gnochi, my grandmothers favorite recipe." She smiled and looked over at him, putting the lid back on the pot with the gnochi in it. Glancing at Rosco and the other Great Dane who came up the steps, she shook her head before looking back up at him. God he was so damned cute, she was praying this would work out.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) Meh I dunno ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Jamie's so goofy. I hope he's not allergic to puppies. ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 4, 2010 8:02:20 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. Jamie was attractive enough, someone Jayden figured he could stand waking up next to that face for a while without screaming and asking himself what the hell he had done. Of course, he was mostly courteous to people, but when it came to looks he was as judgmental as they ran, holding many people to extremely high and sometimes unfair standards. Sadly, he didn’t care how many feelings he hurt with his harsh criticism, he figured people were going to get it sooner or later, so he may as well doo it sooner for them, rather than later.
Lucky for him, he was at the right house.
Greeted by Jamie’s smiling face he returned the warm gesture as she agreed that writing her address on his hand wasn’t the best place to put it, he nodded to back up the point. She then looked at the alcohol in his hand and told him he had guessed right about her taste in tasteless alcohol. However, when she told him it was one of her favorites he playfully screwed up his face and said,
Liar. It’s not, you’re just saying that because I bought it.
She stepped aside and wordlessly invited him in.
Her house was small and cute, like her.
They said pets looked like their owners, but as he spotted her oversized dogs he shook his head slightly and smiled. She apologized for their presence, but he liked dogs so it wasn’t too big of a deal, however he gazed at her questioningly when she mentioned ferrets, rodents was one thing he couldn’t do and took mental note to stay out of the basement. Funny, he could blow people up but couldn’t stand ferrets, rats, or mice. Strange how the mind works.
She told him he could put the beer in the fridge, and he did not hesitate.
However, as he walked into the kitchen she asked if he liked cheese and noodles. It was a stupid thing to ask a single man if he liked a certain food, as he did not really have a choice to be picky, rolling his eyes he sarcastically said,
Actually, I hate cheese and noodles and spinach gnocchi.
He kept the serious expression before smiling and said,
No, I’ll eat whatever you put in front of me, you forget I’m a bachelor whose meals do not go beyond frozen dinners from the freezer section at the grocery store.
Without asking he took one of his beers out of the fridge and opened it up, grimacing at the flat taste, looking at the green bottle he said,
And you like this crap because?
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.439
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; om nom nom
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Post by mouse on Nov 4, 2010 8:18:52 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
Ok he had caught her in a partial lie there,saying how she loved the beer when in all honesty she found it ok. She did drink it, though, it was one of the beers that frequented her fridge normally. "I'm only partially lying, it's not my favorite but I do drink a lot of it," she nodded with a smile, watching him softly. At least he didn't freak out when Rosco came barreling into the living room all happy dappy and excited about there being someone in the house. He was a monster and only about a year or so old, wiggly with the neatest coloring Jamie had found in a Great Dane. He actually seemed to like dogs so maybe she would let the dogs run the house a bit, leaving the ferrets in their cage though since they tended to be a bit psycho and get under things.
She looked up at him when he said he hated gnochi but giggled when she realized he was kidding. "Well I didn't know! And if you didn't I'd make something else it's not that difficult," she shook her head gently. "Cute." She said about his face, laughing a bit and reached into the fridge to pull whatever she happened to grab out. "Honestly I prefer a flatter beer. I also drink Guinness which most people relate to motor oil it's so thick," she shrugged, popping the top of the bottle she had grabbed open on her belt buckle. Oh boy she really was a country girl, using belt buckles that weren't even meant to open a bottle to do just that. Jamie tossed the cap in a jar that was full of them, hopping up to sit on the counter. Her soft blue eyes turned to him after a few minutes as she took a swig of her beer, wrinkling her nose a bit. "Oh...that's skunky..." she looked down at the bottle, sighing. "I guess the Jagermeister went bad."
She just set her bottle beside her and shrugged, jumping when the bang of the gate falling over echoed through the house. "Rosco!" she nearly yelled, shaking her head. Hopping off the counter she moved the gate so the two dogs could run around the house, sighing. "God I'm never getting two puppies again. They are psycho." Grabbing herself another beer she made sure the Jager was ok before popping it open and sipping it, seemingly satisfied with the taste. "So, what got you into horses Mr. Military man?" she smirked a little at her new nickname for him, having caught sight of his dogtags a little. She had her grandfathers dogtags hanging on her bedpost up in her room where she could treasure them forever.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) Meh I dunno ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Arghhhh I need mussssee!! ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 4, 2010 18:48:26 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. He laughed at her as she realized he had caught her in a half lie, it was always fun to do that to people then see how they reacted; it was one of the few joys that came with interacting with people without having an ulterior motive in line. Though, his ulterior motive here was to just get over their last date and move on, even though he had an unnaturally hard time doing that, still he figured it might (just might) be about time that he started to learn. Jamie did indeed admit that Rockwall was not her favorite drink, but she drank it nonetheless. And Jayden was not surprised, he was sure she’d drink water if he told her there was alcohol in it.
At least, that’s how she seemed with alcohol.
Jayden had been raised to have a more refined palate than the average American, so his taste in things were at a higher caliber than some; and it was obvious that he and Jamie did not see eye to eye when it came to alcohol. Sooner or later though, he’d get her into wine and teach her that the cheap shit she drank was not worth it. He figured if he was going to drink himself silly and feel like crap the next day, he was going to do it in style. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that.
He just wanted his time to be worth something more than twelve bucks.
Jamie took out her own bottle of alcohol and began to drink it, only to grimace and declare that it was ‘skunky’ he stared at her for a second before incredulously replying,
Skunky? That sounds disgusting.
Without warning, her dog came tearing back into the kitchen and she yelled at them and declared that she’d never buy two puppies at the same time again. He only laughed and shook his head. He glanced at her when she asked what had gotten him into horses, accompanied with an unflattering nick name,
Mr. Millitary Man, no not gonna answer to that, and horses surprisingly ended up being a part of my physical therapy and at the time it was one of the few things I could do without my leg hurting and help my leg at the same time, I kinda loved it so I went out and bought Dante. I rode a little bit before I went to Iraq, so I wasn’t a total newbie to riding, and what about you?
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.415
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; ew nasty post
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Post by mouse on Nov 4, 2010 19:11:49 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
Jamie watched her two dogs start to play, obviously excited to be out of the basement and around people. They wrestled with each other, ran around a bit and finally found their beds to lay on. At least they had calmed down, which Jamie had yet to feel her heart slow down. She was nervous, for obvious reasons of course, so she did her best to hide her giddyness and was doing so well for now. She listened as he spoke about getting into horses, starting to drain the gnochi out of the water. It took her a good minute since it was a decent sized pot she was cooking in but she managed, somehow.
"My entire family is into horses, always has been. I grew up riding, my dad taught me everything that I know and still teaches me new things whenever he comes out to see me or the other way around. It's an inherited thing," turned her head to look at him gently with a soft smile, she set the gnochi on the table, doing the same with the sauce and started to get plates out. "Hmmm, candles or no candles?" Jamie had candles sitting on the table to begin with, but it would be kind of adorable to have a candlelight dinner. As cheesy as it sounds, she found it a little romantic in some way. "Damn it to hell being short..." she mumbled with a shake of her head, not being able to reach the glass she wanted to grab. It was a wine glass, which meant there was wine in her house.
"Ok, so I built up some courage and decided I'll try wine. I haven't had it in awhile so I don't know how this will go," she climbed up onto the counter as she spoke, balancing on her knees before reaching out to grab the glasses. Jamie was so incredibly tiny in many ways, and it did get on her nerves sometimes but she tried. Turning to look down at the ground, trying to figure out how to get down without killing herself and breaking things. "Ok, so if you help me down I'll figure out something else to call you, which will probably wind up being your name." She smiled with a little giggle, setting the glasses down where they wouldn't break if she slipped. She looked at Jayden and giving a little bit of cute pout but she figured it didn't suit her at all so she just giggled and smiled.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) Meh I dunno ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Arghhhh I need mussssee!! ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 7, 2010 11:14:34 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. The dogs began to play in the kitchen, and it appeared that both of their attentions had been stolen by the idiotic animals as they wrestled around and snarled. Jayden kind of wanted to pour water on them because it was getting annoying, but he was not inclined to move from where he stood, so instead he forced himself to be content with just standing there sipping on his terrible drink. The more he drank it, the more he wondered how the hell Jamie forced herself to stomach the crap when he himself could barely force it down and keep it down.
Which was saying a lot, because when it came to putting things into his body as nourishment, he was pretty lenient and grateful for anything he could get to eat or drink.
His attention was drawn back to Jamie as she answered his question on how she had gotten involved with horses, but unlike Jamie he was only half interested in her story, as he was not a full blooded horse person to truly care about other people’s equine origins. He did, however, store most of her story away in memory in the event she decided to test to see if he was really listening today sometime down the line like most women did, and Jayde most certainly did not want to get caught not remembering.
She asked if there should be candles then cursed being short.
Candles seemed lame, and he was not going to be caught having a candlelight dinner any time soon, so he let her know,
No, no candles. That’s way too cheesy for my taste, and I might barf on you if you do.
He watched as she climbed up onto her counter, and didn’t offer to get whatever she was after, instead he listened to her ramble and babble about suddenly being brave and trying wine, he raised up an eyebrow at her and then frowned as she said if he helped her get down she’d rename him,
I don’t know, I really like my name, but if it’s becoming too much effort to call me Jayden you can always get lazy and call me Jayde, I’m more likely to answer to that than my full name or any other petty nick-name you come up with.
He then held out his hand in an offer to help her down.
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.398
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; my head hurts
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Post by mouse on Nov 7, 2010 15:27:54 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
So she was obviously a babbler, especially when she was tired like she was at the moment. It wasn't that she was exhausted but she was a little tired from work this morning, riding Sieban and then the whole minor mental breakdown she had when Jayden was being an asshole. Hopefully she'd be able to break that little habit as she got older but for right now, she'd babble a little. Turning her head with a light smirk when he said about the candles, she shrugged and took his hand gently. Somehow she got down without breaking her face or something else in the kitchen, looking up at him again with a smile. "I'm only joking. I like your name," she spoke softly, setting the sauce on the table before kicking the dogs outside into the backyard where they could play all they wished without getting in the way.
Gosh Jayden was pretty emotionless sometimes, something she had noticed within the past hour or so he was here. She had seen his facial expressions but he had yet to really smile, all he was doing was frowning or maybe raising an eyebrow at her. That made her really nervous, more nervous than she was when she entered her first major competition on the National circuit. What if he rejected her? What if he hated her personality and just her in general? If he rejected her would she be able to handle it again, for the fifth or sixth time? Would she become a heartless bitch finally? She had to stop herself from thinking those thoughts so she set herself to getting the wine out and finishing with setting dinner on the table. "Go ahead take a seat, I promise I didn't poison the gnochi/" Ok it was her weird sense of humor again but hell, she couldn't help it. At least she didn't laugh at herself this time, she merely kept taking the few pieces of garlic bread out of the oven.
Finally, everything was ready to be eaten and on the table. She poured the wine without breaking the bottle and she wasn't ready to fall over from being so nervous. Sitting down across from him at her little dining room table, she set her napkin in her lap and looked at the food she had made. Ok, maybe she had overcooked but hell she'd eat it throughout the next few days for lunch and such if there was any leftover. Waiting for him to dish himself some of it, Jamie reached forward and took her own after a few seconds. It was the millionth time she had made gnochi like this but for some reason she was nervous. Actually she was suddenly nervous in general about this whole date thing. After all, Jayden had been a little judgmental about her taste in alcohol, had merely raised an eyebrow at her about the wine and had frowned with her calling him names, and otherwise had had an expressionless face. Now she was waiting for the disgusted look at her cooking and for him to storm out of the house. That made her go a little quiet, another habit she had to when she got nervous. Some people didn't shut the hell up, Jamie just clammed up.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) 547 ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) lol I have a nerdy character. FEEL BETTER! ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 8, 2010 6:25:28 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. Long ago, after he stopped hiding in his house and sulking and wishing he too had died, Jayde had come to the tragic understanding that he was without the ability to honestly feel anything anymore. It had been put in front of his face the first time he had made someone cry and then felt no guilt or said sorry afterwards. He no longer seemed to care about other people’s feelings or what they wanted; he was not walking the earth to serve others anymore, his time had been done and his dues paid in sweat, blood, tears, and fear. He was no longer interested in what people wanted from him, and god damn it he was going to do things his way regardless of the political and social moral standard.
He was thinking outside of the box, which was more than most of society’s worker drones could say anymore.
However, Jayden had experienced some life changing, attitude altering, personality modifying stuff over there in the war; more than most people did. They simply saw liberal media edited versions of what their beloved soldiers were over there doing. They didn’t get to see the blood, guts, and gore. They didn’t get to watch their front line buddy get blown up then have to pick his pieces out of their teeth. So at least Jayde had an excuse for his change in views, or at least he was going to use it as an excuse for as long as possible, before someone hit him upside the head and told him to get over himself.
Jayde seriously doubted anyone could reach his head or have the balls to hit him.
Jamie was suddenly getting more and more nervous as the time for dinner grew closer. Jayde could feel the tension in the room spike as she took his hand and hopped down and began to make the final preparations for their dinner. He didn’t offer to help simply because she had invited him over; if he had invited her over he’d be doing all the work. He simply stood back and let her work around her kitchen, watching her carefully and discretely pouring out his beer and throwing it away, he was done submitting himself to the torture of forcing himself to drink hopelessly flat beer.
Watching her, he wondered what she was thinking.
In a selfish bout of self-centeredness, he hoped she was thinking of him. She then waved at him to be seated, and he did so, looking at the food for a second, quite hungry, but would wait until she served herself; at least he wasn’t a complete barbarian. After she got her own little portion, he served himself then poured himself a glass of wine (it didn’t look too expensive, but he was far more pleased to be drinking it than the cheap shit she had and the tasteless crap he had bought). Sipping the wine he found it good enough then took a couple small bites, nodding as he chewed he put down his fork and leaned back and said,
Oh yeah, definitely tastes poisoned, I see what you’re trying to do, kill me. Where you going to put my body?
He then smiled at her and said,
Just kidding, it tastes just fine.
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.547
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; blech.
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Post by mouse on Nov 8, 2010 10:42:22 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
Her nervousness was annoying but it was something she couldn't help. Jamie was hoping Jayden didn't really notice it but it was kind of hard not to when Jayden hadn't exactly been the brightest of persons yet. Jamie sighed gently, looking up when he started to joke about where to hide his body and such. "Under the tree in the backyard, with the rest of them," she joked back, raising an eyebrow at him as she waited for his response to that. See, she was slightly sadistic sometimes with how she thought. She didn't mind being that way but there were people who absolutely hated her humor and how she thought, so hopefully Jayden wouldn't go ape shit on her ass about it.
As she ate quietly she thought about a few things, remembering that she had heard Jayden had had a fiance. Oh she wouldn't ask about that because, well, that was just rude as hell and she didn't need him to get angry at her. It scared her when one of the dogs ran into the door since they were still playing, but she shook her head without even looking out at them. Lifting her eyes to look over at Jayden, she attempted to find something to talk about. "Damn nerves," she mumbled with a shake of her head, stopping for a second when she realized she had just said that out loud. Ok, so if he hadn't known she was nervous he knew it for sure now. Another of Jamie's weird habits, she thought out loud half the time which got her in trouble...a lot. There were times when Jamie's thinking out loud had gotten her kicked out of barns back home, gotten her many detentions and suspensions as well.
Shaking her pretty little head, Jamie sat back in her chair and played with the hem of one of her sleeves. She really didn't eat too much since she had been snacking throughout making the dinner for them both, which filled her up pretty quickly. That's when she remembered she had a glass of wine sitting in front of her, so she reached forward and took a little sip of it. "Oh...that's a different taste," she said with a slight wrinkle of her nose, but it wasn't a bad thing. She wrinkled her nose more when things tasted good than when they were bad. How come she had never had wine before? Oh that's right, her mother had loved wine so she had tried to stay away from it, thinking if she drank wine the side she got from her mother would come out pretty damned quickly. Jamie's mother was an outright bitch, finding nothing good in Jamie's life nor her brothers' life because she had made nothing of her life. Sighing at the thought she set the wine glass down on the table in front of her, looking over at Jayden softly. "Sorry, I'm usually so much more talkative than I am right now."
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) I feel teh same way. ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 8, 2010 18:37:38 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. There had been some people that admitted that Jayden made them nervous, that when they were around him they felt a certain degree of unease that they had never felt before. It had not happened once, not twice, but three times, almost all of them perfectly good strangers whom did not know of his otherwise morbid thoughts and inner workings. Two of them were people he had never met, but simply turned to him and told him that they felt oddly uncomfortable to occupy the same space that he did. The other one had been his fiancé after a minor fight when Jayden had done just about everything he could to keep from punching her face in (at the time he was still dealing with some aggression issues).
If he could wipe that one day out of his mind he would.
It always put him in a sullen mood when people acted as if or declared that they were nervous around him. If he knew what he was doing to make someone so wary of him, he’d fix it within a heartbeat, because the last thing a normal person of society did was make total strangers and close loved ones squirm at the thought of being in close quarters with him. Unfortunately Jayde did not know how to make people unafraid and calm around him, he in turn did not know how to calm himself down, he was caught between a rock and a hard place and knew he wouldn’t really be able to move on in his healing process if he couldn’t get over the proverbial hump in his socialization.
It was painfully obvious that Jamie was nervous.
But the most Jayde could do was sit there in complete awkwardness as the person he was with shifted around uncomfortably or trembled like a new born baby deer in the head lights, he was helpless to stop what he did without even knowing he was doing it. Jamie apologized for her lack of chatter and he simply shrugged, trying to make most of the fact that he made her nervous as well (or maybe it was just the entire situation that was making her nervous, either way it involved him and therefore was important to him). Toying with is fork he reached over and took a sip from his wine then set the glass back down and eyed Jamie warily for a second before sighing and saying,
Please, don’t feel special, you’re not the first person that’s nervous around me.
There was no animosity in his voice, no hate, no happiness, nothing. Just as it always was.
Flat and without emotion (emotion had been beaten out of him a long time ago).
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.452
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; nyeh.
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Post by mouse on Nov 9, 2010 7:30:02 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
Jamie hated being nervous, it wasn't just him or the situation, there was a lot on her mind at the moment. She felt bad about being nervous, and the flatness in Jayden's voice made her look at him. There was that blank look again, the one she hated and it made her even more nervous. "What did they do to you over there?" she asked gently, not wanting to make him angry at her again. There were so many soldiers she had seen come home from the war and all had that look on their face. That blank, emotionless look with their eyes drained of all feeling. It just made her wonder why people went into the military, did they think that they wouldn't become like what Jayden was right now?
Standing up she walked over to him, sitting in his lap softly with a sigh and touched his face gently. "Why did you go into the military? I've seen so many people, men and women both, come home and they were almost dead..." she shook her head, then realized how close she was to him. Jamie just hoped he didn't get angry at her for being so close to him, for just sitting in his lap at will and touching him. Of course she didn't move at all, she just sat there watching him softly. Jamie didn't know about his ex-fiance, their fight and how she had gotten into an accident. If she did she would make the connection to his emotionless state with the accident but she didn't know about it, the story would most likely make her cry.
It finally dawned on Jamie that she was sitting his lap, mere inches from his face and it made her blush deeply. "Sorry," she mumbled, working her way out of his lap carefully and adjusted her clothes. She was waiting for the deep red blush on her cheeks to go away but it wasn't going to go away, so she turned back around to sit down. She sat next to him this time, turning so she was looking at him without making it too awkward. Obviously, her nerves had gone bye bye pretty damned quickly after her little 'let's sit in Jayden's lap'.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) I feel teh same way. ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 10, 2010 12:23:06 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. The last thing Jayden had expected Jamie to do was suddenly bare down on him and dig into half-healed wounds and ask what he had been through in the military. Part of him wanted to just stare at her and make her feel like the biggest dumb ass for not even knowing what goes on over in the military, part of him wanted to tell the truth, and part of him just wanted to get really mad at her. He knew full well that the latter idea would not go over well with her, which he’d probably just get in another fight for, and the last thing he needed was to be fighting while he had a little alcohol in him. His sense of control sober was impressive, but he knew full well that drunk was a whole different story.
The last thing he even wanted was to get in another fight with Jamie, she was a generally happy person, he had very little right to make her as miserable as he was.
Needless to say, he was equally shocked as she came over and sat down on his lap, he retreated to the back of his chair, unsure of the contact. Keeping his hands to himself he crossed them across his chest and studied her for a second. He supposed he could have seen this coming, as he had mentioned several times on different occasions how black his heart was and how much of a soul he lacked; questions were only a part of the learning process and she was currently living in a state of not knowing what happened to him to make him the way he was.
Jayde was all about education.
Sighing he looked at her, looked away, then back at her. He rarely talked about the military, even though it was one of the biggest parts of his life, it was also the part that screwed him up. He shook his head slowly then said,
If I could accurately tell you what the military did to me, you’d wonder how the hell I was still alive. And to be honest, I wish I were dead. But, you haven’t watched your best friend blow up right before your eyes; you haven’t made that last prayer to your god thinking that you were going to die, only to realize that HEY! You get to live one more day.
As she got off his lap he stood up and paced, still talking,
War is nothing like the watered down version we played as kids. Out there, you’re taking down real human beings, men with families, children and wives waiting for them. But those bastards cut us down like a rotten crop. Out there, it’s life or death, one more breath or blown into a million pieces. It gets to your head after a while, and when you get back, it’s all you can think of, all you can see when you close your eyes at night is the faces of the men you killed and the men you saw killed, all you can hear is the rat-tat-tat of machine gun fire and deafening sound of explosions. I, I can’t even tell you why I went in now, that minor detail is buried under the shit pile that has become my life.
He stopped pacing and looked at her.
Did that answer your question?
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.565
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; ---
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Post by mouse on Nov 10, 2010 18:04:43 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend
The more Jayden answered her question the more she regretted asking it. Little had she known that it was so bad over there, she had only heard stories from the news since none of her friends were military. She had been one of the lucky ones who came from a non-military family and none of her friends had opted to go into it, blocking out any possibility of her knowing what Iraq or Afghanistan was like. She closed her eyes and listened, wanting to block out the images that were coming into her head as he spoke of people being blown up or not coming home because of being blown up on the side of a road.
He finally stopped talking, his little question bothering her a little but she didn't react to it. Finally opening her eyes she shook her head, not bothering to brush her hair out of her face. "I've never seen a friend blown up beside me, but I've watched many of them kill themselves or die in front of me in the hospital," she said softly, shaking her head. "I'm sorry I asked....I didn't think you'd go into full detail like that." Honestly, she hadn't thought he would go all out explaining just what he had seen over seas and it just brought up rough memories for her. This date was turning into a disaster, just like the last one, and Jamie didn't want it to go that way. Maybe if they just went straight to sex they wouldn't have to deal with talking to one another. NO. She was not going to think that way, she had to keep hoping that it would turn around.
Everyone thought Jamie was the happiest person in the world, which she tended to be but there were a lot of things Jamie had seen that made her an unhappy person. Jayden had his own horrors of war that he had to live with seeing at night and Jamie had hers. Her friend putting a bullet in his head while she was downstairs, another overdosed at a party, and her best friend overdosing on Heroin while she slept beside him. Imagine waking up to seeing that, it was nothing compared to war and seeing people get blown up right next to you but it was not something you want to imagine. "I'm kind of determined to show you that despite what your black heart says, there are people out there who are good. That know what you've gone through, maybe in a different way but you're not alone. And to show you that love does actually work out." Flipping her hair back from her face a bit to look up at him, her eyes had a very scary tone to them.
People would look at Jamie and notice her eyes immediately, simply because of their shocking color. Her eyes usually had a tone of happiness, never any depression but this time, there was something behind them. Sadness, depression....outright fear, more fear than anything. The more they sat here and talked the more she felt like he was going to walk out of her house saying she was some looney toon. Oh lord God she could not handle that at all, she couldn't handle knowing that he was mad at her and she most definitely could not handle being rejected...AGAIN. Taking in a slow deep breath, she turned her gaze back to the floor and played with the hem of her sleeve. Talk about an awkward conversation.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Ooooooh boy. ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font] |
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Post by jayden on Nov 11, 2010 9:53:22 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. It was clear that Jamie had not been expecting Jayden to be brutally honest, the regret and pain in her eyes was enough of an answer to his question of his answer being good enough. He wanted to tell her everything, but what would that get him? More sympathy, that’s what. Sympathy did not work, he was well aware of this. Sympathy was only effective on people that sought sympathy, the depressed drunks of the world, the self-pitying, self-loathing creeps that sat in their jail cell rotting for the rest of their life because of something they did that the state or nation didn’t like; oh he knew they’d love a bit of sympathy, a couple forgiving letters from an outside source saying how sorry they felt for them. Oh those guys ate that shit up.
But not Jayde.
The only sympathy Jayden ever wanted was his own, because he felt only he knew what he needed, he believed that he was the only one that could heal him, not that this plan had been going so well, but it solved a lot of the tougher problems for him; like attending PSTD support groups. Oh how he hated support groups. There, he was surrounded by men that had it way worse than he did. Missing legs, missing arms, missing eyes, missing noses. While he was just sitting there almost as good as new (minus the multiple rods in his leg and soullessness), but just as tortured as them. He felt he did not have a right to be there, he believed that support groups were for men and women who were dying or wishing they’d die every day.
Jayden only wanted to die every other day.
Silence stretched between them as Jayde watched Jamie like a hawk and she digested his information. Clearly she did not like his answer, but she had asked for it and he had given it; was the man not allowed a few sparse moments of honesty? He kept it in his mind that next time Jamie asked about a gruesome subject that he should at least sensor it a bit, no one liked the gory details, not even Jayde, but he felt that the version of war that the liberal media was spewing out of their up-tight asses was far from the truth, so she at least knew a little bit of the truth and not the crap that the news was speaking of.
They spoke of how the war was pointless, how it was a waste of time.
To him, there was nothing about war that he found a ‘waste of time’, with a somewhat warped sense of justice, he felt he was furthering the righteous beliefs of America throughout the world and avenging the U.S. for the countless terrorist attacks that had been placed upon them. If anything, he deserved a god damned medal (he had a few, but not enough). Jamie apologized for asking, and Jayden simply stared at her before running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes,
What, you didn’t think that I wouldn’t lie about one of the few things that keeps me up at night? Silly Jamie. I don’t lie about myself.
That was true, when it came to his wellbeing, Jayden rarely lied.
It was when it came to other’s wellbeing that he began to spin lies into the truth.
She then began to babble about how he wasn’t alone and that she, in a way, wanted to fix him. He couldn’t help but reminisce how much she reminded him of his ex, he could only stand there and stare at her as it seemed like his deceased love was speaking right to him through this little woman, but his fascination was lost when she said that most of all she wanted to prove to him that love actually works out. Letting out a small laugh of disbelief he toyed with the dog tags around his neck and said,
They don’t give out Nobel Peace prizes for fixing emotionally damaged soldiers, you know? You’re far too kind to deal with the likes of me, honestly if I were you I wouldn’t dare waste my time with me, there’s a lot of other things that you don’t know and will probably never know.
character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.717
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; oh jayde, stop being a dick.
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