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Post by mouse on Nov 11, 2010 10:21:57 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright †WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
![](http://th06.deviantart.net/fs38/300W/f/2008/325/f/7/f7c9feabcb87fef28772b90766853aa0.jpg) †STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN† it's over but what if we just pretend
Jamie hated thinking about war and how so many people got into heated arguments over it. War to her was silly, but she would never admit it because she also found it necessary sometimes. Terrorist attacks needed to be retaliated against since even she knew if they were left as is, it would lead to another one that could be much bigger and much worse than the former. So many people had died on September 11 and even more died throughout the war, but hell it was somewhat necessary. Maybe not the fact that it had lasted so long but whatever, she wouldn't get into the stupid ass politics of it. People killed other people over their arguments about the way overseas and Jamie made sure to stay as far away from that as possible.
Oh she hadn't expected him to flat out lie to her but she most certainly thought he would at least censor himself a little. The images that flashed through her head were gruesomely disgusting,unwelcoming and just flat out disturbing. "No..." she mumbled, shaking her head and closed her eyes again. Jamie just wanted to get all of those thoughts flipping around in her head again out. She had spent forever working on boxing those stupid thoughts up into the back of her mind where she couldn't find them, where they wouldn't make her sad and she wouldn't have to remember those terrible days. Well, thanks asshole, you brought them back out again.
Jamie was one of those people who was overly loving, she just loved to make people know they were loved. When Jayden decided to go on his little spew about wasting her time and not getting a Nobel Peace Prize, she couldn't catch her tongue. "It's not a fucking waste of my time, Jayden!" She nearly yelled, hating herself for it and she really wished she hadn't just yelled. Sighing and standing up to look at him, she shook her head. "If it was a waste of my time I wouldn't have invited you over, I would have given up that last time but I didn't. Are-" Her voice caught in her throat as she fought to get what she wanted to say out because it wasn't a nice thing to think about for her. "Are you just trying to tell me nicely that you don't even want to bother with me? Because if you're going to reject me like the rest of the guys just tell me now, save me the heartbreak." Jamie looked down again, not wanting to look at him because that thought of him seeing the absolute fear in her eyes and on her face didn't make her any happier. Already she was setting herself up to be let down again, to be told she wasn't worth someone's time or that they 'just want to be friends'. She'd at least wait until he was gone to cry, or at least she hoped she could hold it in that long but she doubted she could.
See, when you're let down as much as Jamie is you eventually become a heartless bitch. So far she had managed to not become one but each time she thought of being rejected again, the more angry she became about dating. At some point she would turn into Jayden, probably a lot worse than that, but she would. She had to remind herself after every failed date or relationship that there was somewhere out there that actually wanted her. It was a joke, because she honestly thought no one wanted her. Jamie didn't find herself interesting, didn't think she was wantable, and most of all, she didn't find herself pretty. Jamie hated herself to a certain extent, you could say, and if she could she would change everything.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Jayden, you're a brat lol ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font]
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Post by jayden on Nov 11, 2010 10:59:11 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. This was exactly why women could not handle being around Jayden, and why Jayden could not handle being around other women. He was a uniquely functioning person with a twisted sense of humor, honesty, and justice. He often times explained to others how he felt they should feel about him only to have it taken the wrong way as some overly hormonal woman looked into his words the wrong way and thought he was talking about how he feels about them. Even after this tactic not working several times, he continued to do it. He assumed that sooner or later some less thick headed woman would eventually get what he was saying and she’d suddenly become his savior, she’d understand him without him even having to speak. He was living a fairytale with a heart full of foolish hope.
Until then, he assumed he’d be miserable and lonely.
But he didn’t think anyone would even like him when he told them he basically caused his ex-fiancé’s death. That she had been out drinking so heavily because of terrible things he had said. Of course, therapists and support groups had told him that none of it was relevant to him and things he said. They had told her she had been struggling with depression and alcoholism ever since he had left and she was bound to die sooner or later (that hadn’t even sat well), they told him she just wasn’t patient enough with him. But like all others that tried to coddle Jayde to emotional stability, he ignored them and went right on thinking what he thought he needed to think to make himself look like the monster he believed he was.
Obviously, Jamie was just another woman who misinterpreted his words, that would only go so well.
She exploded into argument, and for a moment, Jayden was not provoked by anything she was saying. He simply let his dog tags fall to his chest and crossed his arms, watching her with unimpressed eyes as she flew off the handle. Clearly, they were never going to get anywhere since she couldn’t seem to handle the way he functioned, she couldn't get it through her head that he wasn’t going to change, hasn’t changed, and probably never would change. Maybe if she accepted the fact that he was not a malleable person her life with him would get a lot easier. Until then, nothing would fall into the ‘right places’ with each other. He narrowed his eyes at her as she stopped talking and clenched his jaw, trying to keep his anger in check, not wanting to lose control, You are one of the worst interpreters I have ever met. Was all he could manage to squeeze out at the moment without yelling at her.
This time, he was not going to give in to the adrenaline that begged to take over.
Sighing heavily he reached into his pockets and felt around for his ex-fiancé’s engagement ring he had bought for her, he carried it with him wherever he went. When his right hand closed around the oddly cold metal and semi-precious stones he pulled it out and started to toy with it, but stared at Jamie the whole time, he took slow and steady breaths as he began to speak in a low, angry, surprisingly controlled tone, Not once did I say that this is a waste of my time. Not once did I suggest that you should give up on whatever you’re trying establish between us. I merely stated that I am a lazy person and wouldn’t dare bother with someone like me. I’m saying that I am. Not. Worth. Your. Time. He then held up the gold ring for her to see and said, Do you know what this is?
character;; JAYDEN word count;; O.632 reservations;; JAMIE notes;; I’m sensing a story next post xD
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Post by mouse on Nov 11, 2010 11:20:40 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright †WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
![](http://th06.deviantart.net/fs38/300W/f/2008/325/f/7/f7c9feabcb87fef28772b90766853aa0.jpg) †STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN† it's over but what if we just pretend
Oh thank God he didn't flip out at her and start screaming at her. She didn't want that because she liked him to much, however twisted that sounded. She had been waiting for him to all out scream at her and make her feel like hell again, showing that he was hopeless for her to be around. But when he didn't yell and merely said she was a bad interpreter, she looked at him with a little bit of hope, saying, "Always have been..." He didn't hate her. Right then she just wanted to jump and down with joy but she kept herself from doing so, knowing he'd find her a bit weird. Life was already looking up but when he pulled out that ring she quirked her head.
He was toying with it as he told her what he had meant and she couldn't help but watch him play with it. The ring seemed to help calm him a little bit, that making her raise her eyebrow in curiosity. She figured it was his ring but when she really got to look at it she noticed it was way too small to fit on his fingers. Jamie wasn't one of those stupidly silly girls who would see the ring he just pulled out of his pocket and be like 'OMGHE'SPROPOSING.' No, she knew what it was and had a feeling that there had been someone else before her. It started to click in her head why he was so bitter for the most part. He had been engaged, or even married, before and she was figuring the chick left him. Jamie had seen many people turn nasty after an engagement or marriage was broken off, her parents included in that statement. If a girl had left Jayden she could really see him getting pissed off about dating.
"It's an engagement ring," she said gently, looking at it and then back at him. Quirking her head, she asked gently, "You were engaged before." Wow she was catching on quickly and she hoped he didn't get mad for her stating the obvious. She just watched him,not really expecting a story from him because if it was especially painful for him to talk about she didn't want him talking about it. The worst thing he could say was that he was an axe murderer and killed his ex, which Jamie knew he wasn't. Taking in a deep breath she reached over and let the two dogs in, watching them immediately go to their beds and go to sleep. She had nearly forgotten those two were outside, having only heard the little whine from one of them that reminded her they were there. Jamie leaned against the counter softly while she waited to hear his story if he chose to talk about it, or an answer to statement about him being engaged. She actually found it a little cute that he carried the ring around in his pocket, that just meant at one point he did know what love is.
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Jayden, you're a brat lol ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font]
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Post by jayden on Nov 15, 2010 11:42:37 GMT -8
head strong ill take on anyone. In comparison to the last ‘date’ the two had attended, this one was far from terrible, if anything it was just a quite walk in the park; screaming and fighting had been kept on the down low, only Jamie had lost her temper, and somehow by a miracle, Jayden had kept his temper in check and unbelievably managed to not snap back her and storm out and swear that this time, he’d never try with her again. Besides, no one deserved such a fate, not even a woman that couldn’t seem to understand the man she was oddly interested in. Ordinarily, he would have given up a long time ago, deciding she was nowhere near as important as his other priorities, but she had suddenly made herself a very omnipresent factor in his life.
Perhaps it was because she was actually making him talk about ‘it’.
She was unknowingly pressuring him into spilling the beans and letting the feelings return back to his heart. Things that had been locked up in a steel cage for years, things he swore he’d never touch again. She had forced him into a truth session where he could come to reckoning with his feelings of abandonment and torture and stop the self guilt and blame for just a few moments to realize that honestly, there was nothing he could have done in the end, she would have ended up leaving him before long, she would have died eventually. It was just time that he let go.
Jamie stared at the ring in his hands for a moment before answering.
A slow nod of his head was all he could offer to show that she had guessed right. Brining the ring closer to him he gazed down at it. He had spent up for years for that stupid ring. Part of his paycheck upon returning from overseas had gone into it. She had been so jubilant to see it when he first proposed. But as time wore on, he realized that they were not the same people they had been when he had left. Time had marched on mercilessly and they were simply leaves in the river with no choice but to follow the flow and continue on. They had loved each other then for who they were, but neither could seem to stand what they had become. Pocketing the ring he kept one hand in his pocket and the other running through his hair as he looked at the woman, Yes. We were. It was young love, and perhaps that was our greatest pitfall. We thought that love would endure our personality changes over the years, that who we were was finite. Who were we to know that it turns out that people are infinitely changing, there’s always something a little bit different about is every new day, we change, grow, shrink, progress, or retract from the world around us. But, we had been so foolish to think that we’d be able to handle the stress. There was a fight, a really bad one. If you thought our fight we had at the zoo was terrible, then you have not seen a real fight before. She got mad and said it wasn’t worth her time and ran out. She drank until she was kicked out of the bar then foolishly drove herself to her friend’s house. As most tales like this end, she didn’t make it to her friend’s.
character;; JAYDEN word count;; O.575 reservations;; JAMIE notes;; ---
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Post by mouse on Nov 24, 2010 16:13:44 GMT -8
i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright †WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†
![](http://th06.deviantart.net/fs38/300W/f/2008/325/f/7/f7c9feabcb87fef28772b90766853aa0.jpg) †STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN† it's over but what if we just pretend
Just as Jamie hadn't wanted him to do, Jayden told her the mini story of how he was no longer engaged. She listened gently, feeling her heart absolutely break open at the thoughts of something like that happening to her. Jamie had been through hell with seeing her friends die but she felt like Jayden had been through much worse. He probably felt like it was his fault that she had died, that she had gone to drinking and wasn't in the right state of mind to not drive. Their fight must have been pretty bad to consider their fight pretty tame, but Jamie hadn't found their fight terribly bad at all...it had just been stupidly childish. At least they had overcome the stupidity and were trying it again, so far it was working out a little better.
"I know you don't like pity, but I am sorry," she shook her head slowly as she spoke softly. "You were strong through it all, you didn't completely lose yourself...at least it doesn't seem that way. I would have gone a-wall." She shook her head again, especially now that she had used a stupid military phrase to describe what she would have done. She found him brave just for going into war but now that she knew what had happened to him before, she found him even more attractive. Jamie reached up to softly touch his chest and looked up at him, shaking her head. "And if you think that is going to change what I think of you for one seconds, don't believe it. Everyone has bad pasts or something in their past that haunts them, and I do too. It's what makes you human." Jamie held quite a few things secret from her past, like her parents custody battle, her accident, and most of all what had happened when her friend had killed himself in front of her.
Taking in a slow breath she slid her arms around his waist in an attempt to give him a little hug, not caring if he didn't like it. She rest her head in his chest, waiting for him to freak out and push her away. He would have to deal with it because she was a hug-y person, actually she was a touchy person but she'd always start out with just hugging someone. Jamie could smell his cologne, or his body wash but she didn't care which of the two it was because it smelled pretty damn good. The muscles underneath his clothes felt pretty firm as well, obviously he would have something from being in the military. Hell she had seen those boys get worked to near death and that show on TV about the Green Berets or whatever, they weren't allowed to sleep for a week. Finally she let go of him, quirking her head enough to see his face and attempted to read him. Of course he wasn't happy about sharing the story, she knew he wouldn't be but why not when they were somewhat baring their souls here. Breathing deeply, she offered a gentle smile as she hooked her thumbs into her belt loops. "I'm not as big of a bitch as you may think, I do have a heart."
( OUTFIT ) [/b] ( WORDS ) ( TAGGED ) JAYDEN! ( NOTES ) Jayden, you're a brat lol ( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 ( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor ( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0 [/color][/font]
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Post by jayden on Nov 24, 2010 16:43:10 GMT -8
you didn't hafta repost this, silly girl. i know it's here, i'm just being slow xD
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Post by mouse on Nov 24, 2010 16:44:45 GMT -8
I edited it lol I was reading it and was like 'blech'. I'm not being a bitch Ashie XD I promise.
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Post by jayden on Nov 25, 2010 15:41:54 GMT -8
sooooooooo. where are we wanting to go with this/them? i feel if jayden got touchy feely/nice all of the sudden it'd be very out of character for him XDD ideas?
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Post by mouse on Nov 25, 2010 17:04:53 GMT -8
Well that would be weird lol Hmmm, let's see. Right now they could just keep talking but maybe later on Jamie finally let's him know what she's thinking, how she really likes him and all. My imagination is pretty terrible right now lol
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Post by ashie on Nov 25, 2010 17:36:40 GMT -8
I'm running out of things for them to talk about XDDDD he's not really a chatty kathy xD
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Post by mouse on Nov 25, 2010 18:22:33 GMT -8
Can we break him out of his shell so him and Jamie can be luffle bugs in some form XDD
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