;; BLEED ;; devin/mariah

[rivalos]

anywhere you go
anyone you meet
remember that your eyes
can be your enemies



hold me down,
sweet and low little girl,
hold me down,
and i will carry you h o m e

R O M A N

[/I]
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The steel gray mare first felt confusion, then fear flicker through her mostly reactive equine brain as her rider's typically trustworthy guidance faltered and her weight shifted, indicating she wanted the mare to take the massive ditch jump at an awkward angle. At first Gray hesitated, storm colored ears pointed backwards and head held high as she tried to understand the mixed messages her rider was sending. Slow down, speed up, to the left, on the right lead, flying change? Rapidly the gap between herself and the jump was closing and so she decided in the interest of her own well being she ought to take the situation into check and tune out her rider altogether. Roman gave a wild lurch to the right as she evidently lost balance or consciousness, the mare didn't know, but she ducked to the right to try and help the woman stay on before her slender legs tucked to her chest and she launched with all her strength over the massive log. Glancing down it was a roughly five foot ditch beneath her, but it was the massive log before her that she sought to also clear on the other side.

Gray stretched, forelegs clearing the log though it still met her barrel and she scrambled for footing. All weight was off her back so she was able to balance better, but her hind end crashed into the log and tried to take her down the embankment; she scrambled, trying to get her hind legs up onto the other side and, with massive effort, succeeded. Pain shot up the mare's hindquarters from slamming against the sheer wall and then basically falling over the other log; she'd pulled several muscles and badly bruised a hip and so as she came to a halt it was clear she would be lame. The injured mare looked wildly around for her rider who had been on board only moments ago; the raven haired woman was nowhere in sight and so Gray began to panic, calling out wildly for another horse that might be nearby. Her neigh ripped across the cross country course and none responded; she jerkily jogged back towards the barn, wanting to gallop but unable to muster more than a few strides of canter before having to jog painfully again.

The lovely mare now had blood running from the scrapes she'd managed down the front of her gaskins, hocks and cannons and was relieved upon reaching her stall. It was what she knew, and it was where she was fed. She stuck her still bridle head over the stall door and tried to keep from stepping on the uneven reins and then turned to whinny loudly again. There wasn't anyone really here considering how late in the day it was; they'd already been fed for the night and Roman had come out for a late afternoon practice. The mare's breathing was labored but she stood wild eyed there and refused to move from the safety of her stall door. A mare in the next stall whickered excitedly to her and paced her stall, made anxious by the gray mare's anxiety. Fortunately for Bells, though, a familiar masculine figure could be seen in the distance and she didn't hesitate to whinny quite shrilly for him and walk painfully in his direction. Her back end was stiff and she hobbled towards him, making it only a few steps before stopping and simply flinging her head up and down in between whickers. She was in pain, and Roman had disappeared during their ride. He would know what to do.

--------------------------

Her vision swam in and out of focus, and she felt like a million pounds were crushing her body into the ground. Roman struggled for consciousness at the bottom of the ditch, not realizing she'd not only blacked out on the way to the jump but tumbled five feet to the bottom where she now lay. The air was cool against her pale cheeks and no sound came from her mouth when she tried to speak; fear tried sluggishly to attack her brain but within moments she was unconscious again. Her hair had fallen from the bun she'd had it in beneath a rarely-worn helmet which was now cracked but still buckled beneath her chin. A dull pain throbbed all down her right side she couldn't make sense of, but it would come to light that she'd broken her right arm and dislocated the shoulder as well as bruised her ribs and hip in the fall. She was lucky.

Several minutes, or was it hours? Passed and she began to stir again. Her vision remained largely dark and she still could not move, so she decided that lying on her left side as she was would simply be easier than moving. Maybe she would just die here; at least she would see her parents. Devin's face flickered in and out of focus; was it a memory or reality? Her fingers twitched as she thought of touching his face, but considering the massive concussion she'd suffered it was more likely that her mind was making up the way the sun seemed to dance through the trees overhead and the birds squealed like burning tires in her ears. Happy to oblige to the damage's demands, she closed her eyes and simply hoped to go back to sleep again.[/size]

when that day comes
look into my eyes
no one's giving up quite yet
we've got too much to lose

----------

lyrics property of augustana
comments: oh lord it's long xD BUT YEAH, figured it'd be interesting to do it from the horse's point of view ^^ BAHA take ya time replying! it'll sit here for a bit :][/i][/blockquote][/center]

[jeremy]

i apologize even though i know it's lies,

- - - - - - - - - -

The day started off to be rather quiet and pleasant, he was in a rather good mood lately. It was odd for him, but he didn't mind it. The last couple weeks had been rather hectic, his brother randomly calling him up and telling him that he was leaving to go ride in Canada. Of course, at the time he laughed at him and told him not to go move in to an igloo and start wearing furs. When he realized that Aubrey was indeed seriously leaving to Canada, and had no intentions of actually living in an igloo, Devin dragged his ass over to his house and decided to help him pack. Although not much packing ever got done, the two bickered away the whole time just like it had been years ago. There had been a tiny blond girl there too, Devin didn't ask much about her and she stayed out of the way. He knew that she was just getting used, that's how his parents where, that's how Aubrey was. In a way he missed the times when they had been younger, but being away from the farm and his parents was wonderful. He had no intentions of going back, brushing those thoughts from his mind he walked in to the barn. Running his fingers through his thick brown hair, he stuffed his car keys in to his pocket.

In his mind he went through the list of horses that needed to be worked. Vendi desperately needed something done with him, so did Mirro. Dash could probably use a light hack too. Sighing to himself at the thought, he probably should do something with Tick too before he was shipped off to Canada for Aubrey, which was bound to be any day now. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud, shrilly whinny and the sound of metal shoes on the concrete. Snapping his head up, brown eyes narrowed on the gray mare that was soaked in sweat and blood with her sides heaving in and out. It took him a moment to connect everything, his heart stopped in his chest for a moment. “Shit,” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair once again in a more distressed manner, he walked up to the mare. “Midi, what did you do?” He said under his breath, even though Roman had renamed her, that would always be her name to him. Running his hand over her neck reassuringly, he looked over the injuries that she had. Realization sunk in to him hard, the gray mare would never do anything to hurt her purposely. “What happened?” He asked himself, looking over at the scrapes and bruises.

He had a sinking suspicion in the pit of his stomach. “Where is your owner?” He asked her, his tone surprisingly gentle as he patted her face. She had injuries that desperately needed to be attended, but he had to find Roman first. How long had the mare been standing in here for? Judging by how hard she was breathing it hadn't been a long time. As if the mare could read his thoughts, limping along she took a step in the other direction and began to walk off. “Whoa, hey. Whoa,” he said as he grabbed the reins, she was definitely dead lame. The mare took another step forward, brown eyes staring at him in distress. Watching her, he realized that somehow the mare was going to show him where her rider was. Keeping the reins looped around her neck, he walked beside the mare who walked slowly off. Frowning, he studied every step she took. “You banged yourself up good this time, didn't you?”

After what felt like hours, they made their way on to the cross country course and he felt his heart stop in his chest. “Fuck,” he whispered, rubbing his face. The mare broke in to a jog, and Devin did the same, staying beside the mare as she hobbled and limped along. Grabbing the reins and making her walk, he didn't want her to hurt herself even more. Staring in horror at the ditch jump, he knew where she was now. The same jump that had taken Sterling's life, pulling the mare to a halt he jogged up to the jump. “Stand!” He called over his shoulder, hoping she'd either stand or go back to the barn. Looking around the jump, he slowly looked in to the ditch, expecting the worse. There was Roman, laying on the bottom of the ditch. Carefully scampering down there, he crouched in front of her. “Roman, honey?” He said carefully, after getting no response he took his hand forward and gently felt her pulse, the feeling reassured him. “Come on, Roman,” he said quietly, “you have to wake up.”

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- - - - - - - - - -

RESERVED FOR-- Rival and Roman <3
WORD COUNT-- 759// complete
NOTES-- CARING DEVIN. WTF.
CREDITS -- images/text banners etc all copyright to their respectful owners. C:

[/blockquote][/color]

[rivalos]

anywhere you go
anyone you meet
remember that your eyes
can be your enemies



hold me down,
sweet and low little girl,
hold me down,
and i will carry you h o m e

R O M A N

[/I]
[/font][/center]

She couldn't be sure how long she'd been unconscious there, but given her state she wasn't really in a place to start counting the minutes. She thought she heard noise, definitely heard her name, then something on the side of her neck before more talking. She sighed, brow furrowing as she tried to open her eyes and failed. It was a man, telling her to wake up. "Not sleep dammit." she said, as if it were the most obvious thing to say. It came out a tad slurred and her eyes were still closed, but slowly her left arm moved out from under her and she felt the ground next to her. Roman's right arm was immobile and the pain in her shoulder slowly became more sharp as she registered the touch to her neck more clearly. She must have fallen off. Where was her horse? With that thought on her mind, her brown eyes opened and were clouded with a mix of confusion and anxiety over what was going on. Everything was blurry, but she turned her head stiffly to look at the man over her. She couldn't see him clearly yet and the sun was threatening to burn her eyes out behind him, but she could smell him.

Relief hit her like a brick wall and she tried to smile, the movement looking more like a half smirk. "Devin." she said almost drunkenly, trying to lift her left hand from the ground to touch his face as she'd done earlier in what must have been a dream. Her hand didn't make it, though, and fell back against the ground; it worked out because at the same time she remembered she hadn't touched him yet and he might not want to be touched. "Well this sucks don't you think?" she said, closing her eyes and emitting a ragged sigh. The seconds ticked and she became more aware, more aware of the pain in her side and the heavy feeling that was likely more psychological than physical, as well as the fact that her mare was standing off obediently. Opening her eyes again, she looked at Devin more clearly, noticing the worry on his face and felt bad for causing it. "Are you alright?" she asked, worried more about his comfort and the look on his face rather than the unmistakably raw pain that began to rip through her shoulder and arm. She couldn't let him see her so vulnerable, she had to make him feel better and get off the ground.

With this in mind she looked away, putting all her unsteady weight onto her left arm to try edging into a sitting position. She was unbalanced, swaying with the simple movements of half sitting up and cringing at the discomfort it caused her evidently battered ribs. She bit her lip, looking up at the ditch walls and then back at Devin to distract herself from it. She'd really kicked herself in the ass on this one; it would take weeks for all this to heal. Months even for her arm which she'd now realized was broken from the bruising, swelling and the fact that she couldn't move it in the least. The fact that her shoulder was dislocated didn't help that matter, but that was something she'd have to figure out when they went to the hospital. "Just a flesh wound, Devo." she said quickly, again wanting to lighten the situation as usual. She doubted he would appreciate being called 'Devo' however playfully, but at least it would take some attention off her injuries. She tried to hold eye contact and smile, but with her head still spinning faster than a rip tide it was proving difficult to focus at all. She was just glad he'd found her and she hadn't ended up spending the night out here or fallen asleep and never woken up again from hitting her head.[/size]

when that day comes
look into my eyes
no one's giving up quite yet
we've got too much to lose

----------

lyrics property of augustana
comments: DEVO. she's such a hoss. i thought about having her slap him for poking her in the neck, but then remembered she rolled onto that side. xD cursing works! and calling him names.[/i][/blockquote][/center]

[jeremy]

i apologize even though i know it's lies,

- - - - - - - - - -

Relief hit him like a tidal wave when her voice broke the silence, it was slurred, but she conscious. Slinking down on to his knees beside her in the cool dirt, he studied her. He didn't want to risk moving her in case she had a spinal injury, but he had no idea how he was going to get her out of here. Pulling out his cell phone, he cursed under his breath as it said that he had no service. Of course he had no service when he needed it the most. It looked like he was on his own getting her out, putting his phone back he looked down at her as she moved around. “Don't move,” he said softly, watching her as she smiled at him (or at least attempted too). A half smile was what she got in return, nodding as she said his name. She remember who he was, and could recognize him which was a good thing. Her hand reached out to him, taking it in his own larger hand. He rubbed his thumb over her cool palm and lifting her hand off of the ground. Brown eyes were filled surprisingly with concern as he watched her very movement, “yeah, it does suck.” His tone was distracted, looking her over for any more injuries that could be seen at least.

He wished that he could remember more of the first aid that his mother had made him take when he was younger. None of it had ever seemed important then, but now he wished that he would have paid attention. In the back of his mind he tried to go through everything. Rest, ice, elevation... that wouldn't be relevant now. What about concussions? Spinal injuries? Broken bones? He knew concussions, since he had a few- and he assumed that by the fact she had no helmet on she would have smacked her head one good one. Spinal injuries was not to move them until they were stabilized in case she caused more damage. Either way now she was moving about, and he didn't sense a spinal injury, unless it was something smaller. Her voice snapped him out of his mini first aid lesson in his mind, looking down at her. “Of course I'm alright,” he said, his accent sharper and clearer than usual. “I'm more worried about you right now, as you should be too.” Looking down, he realized he was still holding her hand. Letting it go, he watched her as she looked away.

She shifted up weakly in to a sitting position, growling under his breath, “what part of don't move didn't you understand?” He asked, shaking his head before looking over her again. Laughing slightly under his breath at her flesh wound comment, he just shook his head. Noticing that she was almost more pale, and with pain clouding her brown eyes he moved closer to her. Wrapping an arm behind her very carefully in case she was hurt. “I think it's a bit more than a flesh wound,” he said, his lips just inches away from her ear. Laughing quietly at her nick name for him. “Devo? That's a new one,” he commented softly. Realizing how close he was, he pulled his head away, but kept his body close to hers. “What hurts?” He asked, narrowing his eyes as he continued on, “and be honest, don't lie about it.”

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- - - - - - - - - -

RESERVED FOR-- Rival and Roman <3
WORD COUNT-- 696// complete
NOTES-- PHYSICAL CONTACT WTF
CREDITS -- images/text banners etc all copyright to their respectful owners. C:

[/blockquote][/color]

[rivalos]

anywhere you go
anyone you meet
remember that your eyes
can be your enemies



hold me down,
sweet and low little girl,
hold me down,
and i will carry you h o m e

R O M A N

[/I]
[/font][/center]

Granted she had a hearty set of bruised ribs. Granted she felt like a lion was trying to rip her arm off her body. Granted her head was spinning and she felt like she was going a little loopy. However, it did not go unnoticed when Devin took her hand from the ground and held it so gently it made her blush just a little. Given that she was already even more awkwardly pale from having the shit bashed out of her it was likely quite obvious, but then when she'd begun to rock over and sit up it put just as much blood in her cheeks as Devin holding her hand did. He seemed to notice and let go, but she wasn't exactly in a state to rebel. He insisted she sit still which she politely ignored as usual, but couldn't help but grin when he said he was perfectly fine and she ought to be worrying about herself. Adorable quite frankly despite the situation.

"The not moving part." she grumbled with humor, still trying to smile despite the slow increase of awareness that was unpleasantly making its way into her mind. He commented on Devo as she'd thought he would and started to comment back but quickly found it easier to just keep her mouth shut. To her utter shock, though, she realized he'd moved in much closer and had his arm around her shoulders. She froze for a single moment, unsure of how to respond to it given the situation. She was naturally a cuddly person and had alway been comfortable with herself, but she also found that she actually cared for Devin and wanted to respect his space and what he wanted. Now, he was holding her close to him. But then, it was likely it was only to help steady her.

She didn't have a tremendous amount of time to ponder such silly situations, though, because as she was finally able to situate herself into a sitting position she tried moving her legs up to lean on her knees. She muffled a cry by biting her tongue and cursing quietly, then extended her right leg slowly back out onto the ground. Irritated, she sighed and figured she ought to just answer his questions. After all, he would know she lied when they got to the hospital and she told the doc every possible detail. Gently cradling her right arm against her stomach, she spoke with a slightly wavering voice. "My arm. Pretty much all of it. My shoulder is dislocated, and I've probably broken it --" she gasped as she'd started to lean back to sit a little straighter and ended up twitching her shoulder the wrong way. She grit her teeth and groaned just a little, eyes closed tight until it subsided. Releasing a rattling breath she continued, not bothering to push the dark wavy hair away which had fallen across her pale face. "Sorry, um," she continued, her voice a little more shaky than before as she laughed nervously. "Broken it across the middle there." Tentatively she ran her left hand, now shaking, down her right side lightly to feel for damage. "Ribs, hip, knee bruised. And my head." she said finally, summing it all up. For the most part it was her arm that would be a problem, but she would have to be careful with her head. When they popped the shoulder back in the pain would all but disappear there, but her head continued to spin even more as her heart rate increased.

She took another shaky breath then leaned a little more into Devin's arm wrapped carefully around her. She'd survived many a different situation and battle, but typically it was other people who needed the saving; not herself. It was difficult to submit to the fact that she had someone here to help her as she'd never allowed herself to be in such a vulnerable position. As she thought of it, though, she figured who better to have found her than the one person in all of Addison who knew the most about her? She hadn't told him everything about herself, how she'd survived the loss of her parents and how she'd almost died at fifteen. How she'd never loved anyone and was honestly terrified of it. Why was it always when we are our weakest that these thoughts occur?

"Honest enough?" she asked shakily, distracting herself from her thoughts. She realized she really was beginning to shake quite a bit; it was possible she was going into shock. Trembling, she smirked nervously at him. "Maybe we ought to get out of here, huh?" she asked, as if it were a date and she was inviting him back to her home. She tried to laugh but it more just died and she reached over her injured arm to grasp his own arm, wishing she could just curl up and never move rather than do what had to be done next. She was afraid, especially given the black spot which had just appeared in the center of her vision.[/size]

when that day comes
look into my eyes
no one's giving up quite yet
we've got too much to lose

----------

lyrics property of augustana
comments: i will have dekker dear pick up midi/gray and vet her up! xD are you wanting to rp out a whole drive to the ERRR or shall we fast forward to an ambulance & her in a bed all decked out in sweet ass casts and stuff?! xD AND HOW ABOUT THAT BRAIN TUMOR?! i had hoped to draw it out for an insane amount of time and have her head explode... not really.... but yeah.... perhaps they can't operate yet.... xD OR the doctor tells her and she doesn't tell devin til later... !! when she's healed?! -plots like a mad person-[/i][/blockquote][/center]

[--MARIAH]

i apologize even though i know it's lies,

- - - - - - - - - -

He cringed as she shifted and cried out, although it was muffled it still made him cringe. Looking down at her, still holding her close and listening to her. “Alright,” he said under his breath. Staring down at her, he noticed the swelling as she cradled her arm closer to her. He knew that he needed to get her to the doctors, and fast. With her head especially, there was a good deal of damage that could have been done. Her moving and talking was a good sign that she didn't have any brain damage though, and she remembered his name- evidently her memory was okay (from what he could tell). Leaning closer as she closed her eyes and exhaled heavily. Leaning forward, he very carefully brushed away the brown curls from her face. She was still very pale, and he had a feeling she could be going in to shock. “Don't be sorry,” he said, surprised at how soothing his own voiced sounded for that moment. Dark eyes followed her hand as she explained the damage across the bone. Nodding, he frowned and tried to figure out how the hell he was going to get her out of here. Carrying her probably would be too jarring and hurt, sighing and shifting, he continued to gaze around the ditch.

Suddenly she was leaning in to him more, without much thinking he wrapped his arm around her to keep her close (still being very cautious about her injuries). Laughing slightly under her his breath, he looked back down at her. “Yeah, that was honest enough.” Noticing she was trembling more, he shifted and took off the sweater he had on, wrapping it around her shoulder carefully. “We should. It's going to be a bit difficult though. Do you think you'll be okay to walk? I'll help you of course...” Unwrapping his arm from around her, he stood up and helped her to her feet, keeping a hand on her at all times in case something happened and she fell of balance. Once she was on her feet, he wrapped his arm around her once more, frowning he looked up the bank. “This may be a challenge.”

--

The ride in the ambulance was quite crowded, he was surprised they even let him come in the ambulance. The swarm of paramedics had him sitting in the corner. He had handed the mare off to one of the grooms, who had just been staring at him in horror. He explained for them to get a vet out, and to have the vet bill him and call him when all was said and done. They had seemed like they wanted to know more questions, but by the look he gave them and when they saw Roman the questions had quickly ended. Sitting with his hands on his laps, fingers entwined together as he watched the dab away at her injuries. Everything moved quite fast from there, she had fallen unconscious once more in the ambulance. They sat him down in the waiting room, telling him that his girlfriend would be fine. He tried to explain to them that he wasn't her boyfriend, but ended up losing that battle and just sat there looking down at his feet.

Concern ate away at him, which brought a mixture of fear. He couldn't feel this, he couldn't feel that attachment to someone. Closing his eyes and leaning back in the chair, he pressed his face in to his hands with a loud sigh. Everything that he ever cared about eventually got pulled out of his hands by death. Just the fact that he cared about her was scaring him, fear was the raw emotion that he knew the feeling of well. Looking up at the nurse who stood in front of him, he raised his brow. They told him she was going to be fine, and should be waking up again soon. Following the nurse in to her room, he pulled a chair up to the side of his bed and sat down. Crossing his legs and playing with his jaw, the painful image of Sterling crashing down off the fence played through his mind.

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- - - - - - - - - -

RESERVED FOR-- Rival and Roman <3
WORD COUNT-- 700// complete
NOTES-- mg he cares. WTF
CREDITS -- images/text banners etc all copyright to their respectful owners. C:

[/blockquote][/color]

[rivalos]

anywhere you go
anyone you meet
remember that your eyes
can be your enemies



hold me down,
sweet and low little girl,
hold me down,
and i will carry you h o m e

R O M A N

[/I]
[/font][/center]

Roman smiled weakly at Devin's efforts, soothed by him being near and knowing she was going to be safely on the way to the hospital soon. Her head worried her more than anything; that was something she had no control over and couldn't predict what could happen with it. A black spot in her vision couldn't be a good thing, right? She stayed silent as he talked, nodding when he asked if she could walk and glad he offered his sweater to her. She still didn't know why she was shaking so much; it was rather nice out she thought. The going was rough and painful, but she stayed silent the entire walk so as not to upset him further or spook poor Gray at all. The mare was obviously shaken, but Roman was touched that she'd led him right to her. That was a bond which normally took much more time to build; at least she knew she could depend on the mare in more than one way now. Roman felt terrible for the mare's injuries and watched as they led the poor girl limping away. Roman would have a friend of hers flown in from Indiana; he was the best in the business, he'd make sure everything went well, even after the local vet cared for Gray.

Roman was relieved when the ambulance arrived and quickly went unconscious with the knowledge that she was in good hands.

--------

She'd woken once before when the neurologist had been in initially; evidently Devin was still in the waiting room, bless his heart, but when the dark haired woman saw the doctor's expression she had them leave him in the waiting room under the impression that she was still out of it. In fact she was rather drugged when the neurologist came in the first time; they had cleaned her wounds (evidently there were scrapes that had bled she hadn't been aware of) and bandaged her as well as casted her arm. Her shoulder was tremendously sore but much more comfortable now that it had been popped back into place and situated with an immobilizing sling. She was a sad sight, still pale and with the oxygen tube under her nose, a lightly purple bruise appearing on her right cheek and the side of her forehead that hadn't been there before. She must have hit harder than she thought.

The doctor had told her the news and she wasn't completely conscious, but she knew what he was saying. That black spot wasn't going to go away, and he didn't know if they could do anything about it. She would either die on her own within several months or they could try a tremendously risky surgery to remove the tumor which was slowly increasing in size daily. Now she knew where the sick and dizzy spells were coming from, and perhaps even why she couldn't remember how she'd ended up in the ditch in the first place. She'd numbly nodded him out and asked the nurse to lie to Devin, to tell him she'd not woken up yet. The woman sadly obliged.

Within minutes Roman was in fact asleep again from the pain medication pumping through the IV in her left hand, so she wasn't sure how long it had been when her brown eyes fluttered open once more. Slowly she took stock of her injuries again, the big white cast hidden under a snug sling for her shoulder, head lightly aching now and right side stiff. Her heart beat beeped away off to her right somewhere, a machine keeping time with the fact that she was indeed still alive. It filled the silence that lingered in the slightly dimmed hospital room. What an ass she was. She wouldn't think about her tumor right now. She turned her head slowly to her left and, much to her pleasant surprise, Devin was seated right next to her. A sincere and somewhat relieved smile spread slowly across her bruised and freckled face, expression soft as she leaned her head into the hospital pillow. She'd never been more happy to see him. Well, perhaps a few hours before when she'd been unconscious in a ditch, she was probably even more happy then. "Devin." she said, not really remembering much from the ditch now that she'd had time to legitimately sleep. It was blurry, but she remembered the anxiety and trying not to show how much it hurt. Now, though, it was drugs that inhibited her a little rather than a fresh head injury. She resisted reaching her hand over to the arm of his chair, even if was what she wanted at the moment. Instead, her slender fingers played with a fold in the white sheet. His expression was one of anxiety, or of worry or of something that had him quite bothered. Her smile faded tiredly and she worried about him again.

"Are you okay?" she asked him gently, again resisting reaching out to him. Her expression was anxious, brow furrowed as she searched his eyes for answers. "I'm alright, Devin," she said reassuringly, her voice quiet and sincere, offering a half smile before continuing. "Better be careful or I might start to think you care a little bit." she said jokingly, biting her bottom lip playfully and offering a tired giggle. She looked away, letting the smile again fade from her lips before looking back at his handsome face and searching it again for answers. "Talk to me." she said softly, almost pleading with him despite herself. She blinked slowly, watching him patiently while ignoring the black dot that hovered constantly just to the right of Devin's head. In between the silence, her heart ticked away the moments, the machine steadily beeping to speak for her where her voice could not.[/size]

when that day comes
look into my eyes
no one's giving up quite yet
we've got too much to lose

----------

lyrics property of augustana
comments: -huggles pobre devin- [/i][/blockquote][/center]

[jeremy]

i apologize even though i know it's lies,

- - - - - - - - - -

He looked up at her as she said his name, frowning a bit deeper at the new bruises that appeared on her cheeks. She definitely hit her head hard. Shifting forward in his chair closer to her, he didn't know why the sudden closeness was something he wanted. A part of him almost wanted to reach out, to feel the physical contact. He just couldn't bring himself to do it though, not yet. Closeness was something that he had never wanted, he couldn't figure out why today that changed it, why suddenly after all these years a part of him that wouldn't let him feel or be close finally collapsed. The aching in his chest seemed to fly to his whole body, just studying her wordlessly, when she said his name he pulled his chair a bit closer so his knee was resting against the edge of her bed. “Roman,” he said in reply, shifting in his chair and watching as she played with the fabric of the thin cotton sheet between her fingers.

For a long moment, he sat there listening to the steady pounding of the electrocardiogram reminding him that her heart was still beating, that cross country hadn't taken her life. Her voice snapped him from that train of thought. “I'm fine,” he said, his tone quite soft as he spoke. Looking over at her once more, he ran his eyes over the injuries she had acquired. “I know you are,” he said, nodding. When she commented about him caring, he could only laugh quietly under his breath before studying her. There was a part him that did, but the other just couldn't allow him to voice it. He did care about her, he didn't know how it happened... why would it just come up? In the back of his mind he knew that almost losing her, just the possibility of it. He didn't think he had gotten himself this far in, and if he would have known before he would have tried to bail himself out before he got to this point. He had made empty promises to himself to never become attached to anything or anyone ever again, but he broke that promise and was stuck now.

Her voice broke his thoughts again. Looking up from his hands, he sighed. He didn't know what to say about it, closing his eyes for a moment, he opened them again. “Remember when we went trail riding the other week, and you asked me about my parents? I didn't say much. But,” he didn't know where he was going with this, barely thinking about what he was saying he just let the words slid out of his mouth. “They own a big eventing facility back in England. Anyways, when I was younger they pushed, and pushed for me to be better, for me to do bigger things.” Shaking his head, he glanced over at her, he didn't really know why he was telling her this. The things that he had never told anyone, watching her for a moment, he continued on. “When I was sixteen, I had this mare... her name was Sterling Dream.” He smiled slightly, “you probably recognize the name, she was half sister to your mare.”

“Anyways... like I said, I had that mare. She was fantastic. She had these really dark dapples, and was just beautiful to look at. She never put a foot wrong, and always put her heart in to everything. I never really had anything that was mine when I was younger, she was the only thing I ever really had, the only thing I ever really felt attached too. My parents didn't really understand that though, my brother and I were just handed off from nanny to nanny. They pushed her, they pushed me. I was almost seventeen when I qualified for WEG in the eventing, which apparently was unheard of from someone that young.”

Pausing, he sighed at her and made a face. “My parents kept pushing. Two months before the event they wanted me to take her in a smaller, local event just to get her out there. It was nasty out that day for the cross country portion, and I convinced my parents to bump her down a bit because I didn't want to take her out. By the time we got out there it was super slippery, even studded up she was sliding. We came up to this fence... it was a ditch jump, about four feet high with a five foot ditch under it that stuck out in front. She hesitated before it, knowing that it wasn't safe. But I told her to go for it, and she trusted me. So she did. Taking off, she slipped and got her front legs caught in the fence. She flipped over and landed on top of me.”

He could see it happening clearly in his mind, the smell, the sounds... then everything going black. “I passed out when I hit the ground, I got a concussion. I came around just before they took her off. She fractured her shoulder and broke her front leg in two different places.”

He lost the thing he had only ever loved, he couldn't explain how it affected him to this day. How his parents had never taught him how to care, how to love. That was something he couldn't put in to words. “She had to get put down, needless to say. It should have been me, not her. She should have survived it, she didn't deserve to go through that. My parents didn't understand that I didn't want to go to WEG anymore when I got out of the hospital. They were pissed off that I didn't want to event anymore, because Aubrey ditched eventing too when he was younger. That's when they bought me Midi, or Bells as you call her. They tried to get her for me as a bribe, especially because she was related to Sterling.”

Once again, he found himself unable to explain why he couldn't deal with the mare- how he blamed himself for that day, how he should have pulled her up. Swallowing and playing with his jaw, he fell silent and let Roman absorb everything that he just said. He didn't expect it to make sense, he didn't expect her to understand it either, he still didn't know why suddenly he felt the need to explain it all over again to her. Her accident triggered those memories, hitting him a bit close for comfort.

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RESERVED FOR-- Rival and Roman <3
WORD COUNT-- 1093// complete
NOTES-- this is a bit of a novel haha.. sorry! I don't think he's ever spoken this much before in his life ' xD
CREDITS -- images/text banners etc all copyright to their respectful owners. C:

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[rivalos]

anywhere you go
anyone you meet
remember that your eyes
can be your enemies



hold me down,
sweet and low little girl,
hold me down,
and i will carry you h o m e

R O M A N

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He moved closer, his knee just touching her bedside, but his expression remained pensive. He gave a small smile when she said she was alright but it was obvious by his continued silence thereafter that he was still pondering what was on his mind. Perhaps he was in shock, too; lousy nurses can't even tell shock when they see it. She debated hitting the call button for a split second before he started talking, his eyes showing that he was somewhere far from the sterile room and far away from herself. She nodded a little to indicate that she was listening, that she remembered the trail ride they'd enjoyed together. It had been a few weeks before and he was right, he hadn't spoken much. She figured he needed space, needed time; it was something she could give and was more than happy to do so. She hadn't liked anyone as she liked Devin as far as memory served. She'd had crushes, maybe even something along the lines of young love, but she'd never had the real thing. She was afraid to think of this potentially being the real thing, so it was something else (like the growth in her brain and the black spot in her vision) she would pretend didn't exist just yet.

He started with his parents, something she hadn't admittedly been expecting. She listened quietly, though, smiling when he spoke of his mare. The name was indeed familiar, and it came as a surprise that it was the sister to Mid-Day Dream; she'd renamed the mare Rebound Dreams, feeling it necessary to keep the dreams. She was glad now she'd kept at least that part of it, especially for Devin's sake. It was pretty impressive, too, that the pair of them qualified for something as prestigious as WEG at such a young age and so she nodded appreciatively, decided it wasn't the time to give him a well intentioned thumbs up. She stayed still instead, leaning her head against the pillow again as she seemed to be nodding too much. The dull ache threatened to pulse into her eyeballs so she closed them for a moment, then reopened to let him continue.

He paused and she waited patiently, keeping her eyes on him even though he wasn't seeing her at the moment. Grimacing he continued on and, as he spoke, guilt and understanding mixed to form an uncomfortable pit in her heart. What a horrifying thing for a person to be forced to endure, especially in the teenage years. She should understand his pain; he had only Sterling to depend on as a kid instead of his parents. She had her parents to depend on and they, too, were ripped away from her. Her expression fell as she thought of the terror it must have caused him to find Gray, or Midi, in such shape as she was. It made sense why he was so distraught and she admired him for the strength he had during the entire situation. It must have taken far more than she could understand to do what needed to be done without having a breakdown about it. No wonder he hated cross country, and why he had given her the mare in the first place. He couldn't stand to look the steel colored horse in the eye without seeing a mirror image of her sister. This was why he was so closed and cold; he couldn't lose anyone else.

Tears formed in Roman's weary eyes and she kept her gaze away from him, processing and feeling like she was responsible for this new wave of discomfort he was experiencing. Would he want to avoid her now that she'd managed to injure both his gift horse and herself? By the looks of his physical proximity to herself she doubted it, but at the same time she was unsure of how to comfort him. She still did not want to overstep her bounds. Her head had rolled to the right and now after thinking a few moments she rolled it back to look at him, eyes shiny with tears that hadn't fallen yet. She offered him a wavering smile of encouragement but then let it fade before she spoke. Sniffing, she wiped the tears from her eyes quickly, careful not to disrupt the IV in her hand.

She hesitated for just a moment then lowered her hand to his knee and, using one finger, rubbed it comfortingly for a few moments before removing it again in case he didn't want it. Looking up at him with her hand now safely fidgeting with the sheet again, "That's terrible, Devin." she offered, though doubted hearing that would help him much. "I had no idea, but it definitely puts a few pieces into place when it comes to me understanding you." she said, offering a small smirk. "You can't blame yourself for what happened; we can't do anything about the past or how it comes to be. We can only learn from it, and better ourselves because of it. You couldn't have known that day would end like it did, or that a particular place was more slippery than the next. I've seen horses break legs on a dry sunny day and perform flawlessly in the rain and covered in muck. When it comes to horses, we are mostly just along for the ride." she said encouragingly, shocked she was able to offer him such a speech. A tear she'd missed rolled down her pale cheek and she swiped at it quickly, hoping to make him feel better rather than worse.

She tried to smile at him, the ache in her head worse now that tears were coming from it, but she was determined to help him be alright when he needed to be. "I'm sorry I wrecked out in the woods, I don't know what happened. Everything was going fine and then I guess I just lost my balance.. I'm glad it was you that found me, and that I was on Midi." she said, using the mare's old name. In all honesty the mare listened better when Roman called her that, so why not just keep calling her that? "If it had been Nero he would have never left my side, but what good would that have done? I'd never have made it out of there." she said honestly with a light and strained shrug of her left shoulder. "Midi knew she could depend on you." she finished, a small smile gracing her lips again. It was true, and that ought to do wonders for his mind set. The mare knew she could find Devin and that Devin would know exactly what needed to be done; what better confirmation would he need that he was an amazing person than an innocent horse trusting him completely? Roman's vision blurred and the dark spot on the right stretched across her view, head throbbing suddenly and so she quickly shut her eyes, left hand clenching into the bed to let it subside. Discreetly she pressed the nurse aid button and would ask her for more medication soon. She was scheduled for another dose anyway in roughly a half hour. It faded and she relaxed, head lolling back to her left and expression more weary than before, though she could see again as the blackness had subsided back to its place beside Devin's head. She smiled tiredly at him, aiming to get back to the conversation. "Headache." she said in mild humor, rolling her eyes as if to say 'What can ya do?' She honestly was happy she'd found him, and that they'd come together like they had. Even if he hadn't been willing at all initially.[/size]

when that day comes
look into my eyes
no one's giving up quite yet
we've got too much to lose

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lyrics property of augustana
comments: a tad rambly on this one xD i liked devin's novel! so sad! -shares a snot rag with roman and wipes tears-[/i][/blockquote][/center]

[jeremy]

i apologize even though i know it's lies,

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Sitting there, he noticed tears begin to form in her eyes as he told her the story that still haunted him. Tears. He did not know what to do with them, sitting there rigidly, he tried to look past them. There had never been many tears around him, and the only time he could truly remember crying (other than when he had been a baby) was when he lost that horse. Since then, he had never cried, along with his brother (except the time he pushed him off his pony when he was five and broke his arm). He wasn't sure what to do about those tears, so he sat there and said nothing for a long time, watching as she reached up and wiped away a view stray tears that tried to fall down her cheeks. Watching her hand remain clenched in the sheets, he just studied her face. Shrugging at her words, it was tragic, it shouldn't have happened. But things happened for no reason and he had no control over it. “It is,”

[/b] he said simply. “But shit happens that's out of our control. And that was unfortunately just one of those situations. There was nothing I can do about it now. It's over and done with, the only thing you can truly do is move on.”

There was a part of him that would never move up, a part that would always be broken, but he wouldn't ever tell anyone such things. Looking over at her as she smirked, he just raised a brow. “I figured that it may,” he said quietly. The story that many knew, but this was the first time he had told. He could remember the months that followed clearly, the questions, even the interviews that people had requested and begged. The main question had always been if he was going to try and find a new mount to still squeeze in to the cut at WEG. No matter what he said, they always asked more questions. Eventually he had shut them out, he had shut everyone else out. For years of his life he had shut everyone out. And now, almost ten years later, he sat here and finally opened up the tiniest bit to someone. The fact scared him a bit, and he didn't know what to do with it. Playing with his jaw once more, he looked over at Roman as she spoke again, only nodding at her words. Watching as another tear rolled down her cheek. Something inside of him wanted to reach out and wipe it away, and that scared him more than anything. The tiny quantity of compassion that burned in his veins just for that second, that was something that he had tried to push away.

Frowning as she apologized again, he sighed at her and held up a hand. “Don't apologize. It isn't your fault.” Pausing, he listened as she continued on. “It happens,” he began, slowly he picked the words carefully. “I'm glad I found you too.” In a way, he almost meant that more than just today, but he didn't say more about it. Not allowing himself to accept that fact, he clenched his jaw tightly before unclenching it once more. “She's a good girl. I think eventually any horse would have went back to the barn. Someone would find you eventually, the grooms would notice if a horse wasn't back at a certain time,” he explained grimly. “But who knows what could have happened during those hours. It wouldn't be until late in the evening.” She smiled at him and continued to talk about the big grey mare. “She's an intelligent mare.. that one. Her sister was smart too. A bit too smart to be honest. She could get out of stalls, she could let other horses out while she was at it too. And gates too, no matter how we locked her in I swear she'd find a way out. She could untie herself too, luckily she never went too far.” Tensing up as she suddenly closed her eyes and clenched the sheet, watching her with slightly narrowed eyes as she spoke again, yet she remained to seem as happy as she could. “I'd imagine so,” he said simply to her head ache comment. “You did smash your head pretty hard, and considering that you had no helmet on I'm impressed that you didn't send yourself in to a coma.” Though he felt a bit of compassion after years, it didn't mean he was going to sugarcoat anything.
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RESERVED FOR-- Rival and Roman <3
WORD COUNT-- 758// complete
NOTES-- d'aww them <3
CREDITS -- images/text banners etc all copyright to their respectful owners. C:

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