[OPEN] Listen to the Music of the Night

[martin]

During the day, the stable was buzzing with activity. It seemed there was never a moment when the arenas didn't have one or more riders in them, there were always a few horses in the cross-ties, people were everywhere mingling and working with their horses. There was hardly a moment of silence or peace as long as the sun was in the sky. In the early morning horses were being fed and the racehorse were being worked, in the late morning the most serious riders were out training before it got too hot, mid-day there were lessons going on, for an hour or two around five there wasn't much going on since that was the hottest part of the day, then later in the day more racers were worked and more serious riders were training. It seemed there was almost constantly something going on.

While this would seem perfectly normal to most people and have little to no affect on them, it made a huge difference to Shane. The poor kid was socially deprived in his younger years because of his shyness caused by his inability to speak, and secluding himself had become a habit as he got to the age when bullies would pick on kids like him so as to avoid conflict and pain. Now that he was older, and entering his senior year of high school... nothing had changed. His social anxiety hadn't improved in the least, and there was really nothing anyone could do to help it. He hated his disability and how much it set him apart from everyone else. He had been at the stable for several months, and still literally knew no one. Most people probably hadn't even noticed him, and those that had probably referred to him as "that quiet kid."

The more time he spent here, it seemed the worse his anxieties about being confronted by someone got, and the worse they got, the less time he wanted to be there. He hardly even understood the logic behind his reasoning, but he knew that he didn't want to have to go through the "I can't speak" conversation a million times more than he already had in his life time. More and more he found himself coming later in the day when most people had left, just so he could avoid talking to them. He loved his horse, don't get me wrong, and at this point in his life Dublin was really the only friend he had in the world, but he just couldn't get himself over his fear of the rejection he so often found in people when they discovered that he wasn't normal like everyone else. At least most people could compensate for or hide their disabilities... Shane couldn't. There was no way around not being able to talk.

On this particular day, he didn't make an appearance at the barn until it was starting to get dark. Yes, all this lack of riding was probably effecting Dublin's training in a negative way, but he couldn't help it. Whenever it was cool enough to ride there were too many people in the arenas, and he couldn't handle the stress that amount of people put on him. So as evening fell and most people had long since left the barn, he made his way quietly as always down the rows of stalls until he reached the one with the golden name plate stating:

"Dublin in May
Shane Martin"

which contained the pretty bay Hanoverian gelding with the four white socks as well as the horse's "stable mate" George the barn cat that had taken a liking to the horse. He stepped up to the horse's stall and was greeted instantly by the animals within. It was much too late and too dark to do any training, but that didn't mean Shane couldn't still take the horse out. The stall door slid open easily, and after waiting for Shane to clip the lead on his halter and step out, Dublin moved forward after him, walking quietly beside his human and followed closely by George. The trio made their way out of the lighted barn into the darkening evening and down to the pastures where an old tree stood with sprawling branches.

Once in the pasture, Shane didn't even bother with closing the gate, he knew Dublin wouldn't wander far. He simply dropped the lead in the grass and let the young horse graze at his own free will while Shane sat down against the base of the tree and watched the horse. George sauntered over, and sat beside the mute boy watching the horse with equal enthusiasm. They were quite the trio. A young shy boy unable to speak, an old shabby barn cat with half an ear missing and a short tail, and a practically perfect horse with all the promise in the world. Not one of them looked like they belonged with the other, but they did, and that was just the way things were.

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[paigeturner]

A random little diddy echoed through the halls as the girl groomed the mule, going over the same spot for about the 20th time now. Freakshow has grown annoyed of being groomed but allows it without complaint. Paige of course probably wouldn't notice anyways.

Many would think a girl like Paige would at least have some friends to hang out with or something to do at home, but the truth was that the girl had a very bad history in the friend-making business. Paige wasn't a bad person, just had a horrible memory and the inability to spot the obvious. (Not recognize them after three months of knowing them normally breaks most friendships.)

Several moments passed of absent-minded grooming before even Paige grew bored of it. She came up with a new way to entertain herself and let Freakshow get a good look at the place. She quickly and hurriedly unclipped the cross ties and clipped his lead line to the side of his halter.

At her usual lazy pace, Paige walked the mule out of the barn's brightly lighted stall and into the eerie dark pastures. Course this didn't seem to both the girl one bit. She simply tied her multicolored hair into a messy pony tail and walked over to the nearest fence with the lead rope over her shoulder and Freakshow following as loyal as ever. Unlike the stereotypes, the mule was quite willing and forwards. Paige often said that they probably just didn't know how to treat a mule. Though if you asked the girl how to treat a mule, she would shrug and say something along the lines of 'Ummm... I don't know.' Course she still never got why people didn't know how to treat a mule after that.

She pulled Freakshow parallel with the fence line and with the grace that would make most laugh, stumbled up the panels and belly flopped onto the mule's sturdy back. The random diddy started up again as the girl swung her legs around and sat up onto Freakshow's back. Oh, she said, stopping her little hum as she noticed the pasture's gate that was left open. Looks like they left it open for us.

With barely a nudge the mule slipped through the gate and wondered aimlessly through the pastures with his head free so he could make the decisions on where to go while Paige sat back and watched the swaying branches of a tree, soon coming engrossed with them.

Course she didn't noticed how close she came to the tree until Freakshow came to a quick stop. Her gaze shifted down, puzzled by Freakshow's random halt. A heartbeat later she noticed the young horse grazing near by. Oh, a horse, she mumbled. For a moment, she watched it in silence until she notice the lead rope under his chin. Her first thought was that perhaps he had gotten loose, but at this time of night?

Only then did she finally take note of the boy sitting under the tree. Oh... She sat up a little straighter, peering between Freakshow's over-sized ears, which swung to the side out of boredom. Luckily for Paige, he didn't have much interest in starting anything with the other horse when Paige wasn't looking. With a small tug on the lead rope, she turned him slightly so she could see the boy better. Hey there! came her cheerful greeting with a genuine smile.

((Sorry this sucked XP I tried to post before this but it got deleted (My internet sucks) so again- sorry for the suckyness! lol I'm also trying to get use to her still XP))

[martin]

To Shane, there was nothing really more comforting than the solitude and silence of the night. It was nice to know that here the odds of him being bothered by someone were slim to none and because of that comfort, he felt no anxiety about being here. It was so quiet when he got there that he was almost tempted to leave his every faithful stack of post-it-notes at Dublin's stall... but thought the better of it. After all, there was still a chance someone might come by and run into him, in which case he would be so much like a fish out of water he might very well just freak out and run away... well... not really, but he wouldn't like it one little bit. Being caught without his only mode of communication would be somewhat... traumatizing for him. It was his security blanket and he was lost without it.

For a while, he just watched Dublin as the gelding ambled about casually grazing and occasionally looking up to make sure his human hadn't left him. He never went far, and when he started to get a decent distance away, he would change directions and start back towards Shane again. George had grown bored with watching the horse, and being the cat that he was gave in to his lazy side and curled up beside Shane to get what he believed to be a well earned nap. A short while later, Shane started to zone out and subsequently doze off as well. He was more at home in a horse pasture under a tree than he was in his own house with a roof over his head. Of course, it was probably because he could never have his horse with him when he was at home, and since he was more close to his horse than anyone else, this was where he felt the most at home.

He was very nearly half asleep when suddenly the sound of a stranger's voice intruded on his peaceful sanctuary. Needless to say he was somewhat startled as he hadn't been expecting to see anyone else out here at this hour, and the sound of approaching hooves he had expected to be only Dublin coming closer again. Because of his lack of ability to speak, he was prone to expressing what he couldn't say through the looks on his face, so no doubt there was a look of surprise in his expression, though it was probably mostly hidden by the darkness. Having been taken so off guard, his thoughts scattered every which way and he just sat there stupidly, attempting, and failing to decide how to respond to this girl without being able to do so verbally. You would think after 17 years it would be easier for him... but this was definitely not the case with him.

After a few moments had gone by and he was still unable to decide on what to do, so he settled for a meek smile and a timid slight wave of his hand. The poor kid hadn't the slightest clue how to interact with people like a normal human being. Shane was far too sheltered for his own good. How was he ever going to survive out there in the big bad world? Someday he was going to have to figure all this out... and at the rate he was going, it was going to be like being thrown off a boat in the middle of the ocean when you don't know how to swim, and the boat leaving you there to figure it out on your own. He was definitely going to have a hard time with coping once he was booted out of the nest... and he didn't have long before that would happen.

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[paigeturner]

If the girl had noticed his surprised expression- which was rather doubtful that she would notice, even if it was bright and sunny out- she didn't say a word or show any reaction beside letting her smile grow slightly at the tiny smile and small wave, though they seemed awkward. Though this too, she didn't seem to notice. Perhaps she was far too use to awkward situations to notice stuff like that. But to be honest, Paige was really rather absent minded when it came to the tensions in the room.

The mule shifted under her, his gaze turning to the horse for a moment before his large head returned to it's original position. I'm Paige, by the way, she introduced, still holding the plain smile on her face. And this is Freakshow. Her hand reached down to give him a small pat on his neck, by way of introduction. The mule gave a small shake of his head, dismissing her pat as nothing more then some annoying pest before dipping his head and grazing loudly.

Paige paused for a moment, not for a response, but for her own thought. Her head slowly tilted the way a dog would after hearing something strange. Her eyebrows knitted together and her eyes drifted off before snapping to the boy. Did I interrupt you? she asked before her head straightened. Her hand reached up and rubbed the back of her neck, an odd habit of her's. Without waiting for a response she continued on, Sorry about that! I was just letting Freakshow explore on his own, she gave a small embarrassed smile here. Though most wouldn't see why she would be embarrassed for accidentally stumbling in on the boy, and she would not feel that someone should apologize for finding her under a tree. Still though, it felt wrong to simply not apologize. Though this for what reason, Paige could not place.

Her fingers began to fiddle with a blue lock of hair that came loose from her ponytail. Her eyes shifted from the boy to just above him as she began to think. Slowly her smile faded a bit as she thought aloud. I probably shouldn't do that much too much... Last time we ended up down some trail and got lost, she said with a shrug, as if the accidental two hour adventure was planned from the start. Her gaze settled on the boy as smile returned and she added, it was fun though!

Paige paused again, this time shifting awkwardly on the mule's back. He wasn't the most comfortable creature to ride bareback. His round barrels didn't stop the uncomfortable high rise of his withers and bony spine that stuck out slightly. Her gaze glanced back at the other horse, making sure he wasn't wandering too close to her grouchy mule. In the dim light, she could just make out the moon's dull light on his coat. Mind if we join you? she asked while swinging her legs slightly. Her gentle gaze settled on him as she finally waited for a response.

((Sorry for the crappyness that is this post! I just got the worst headache XP))

[martin]

As always, Shane remained silent as the girl babbled on. Most people wouldn't appreciate her questions for which she didn't wait for an answer, but to Shane... it was possibly the best thing that had ever happened to him. he hadn't ever met anyone who could just talk and talk and be perfectly happy with getting no verbal response from the person they were talking to. Of course, this didn't mean he had managed to get around the awkward telling her he couldn't talk part... but at least it was being put off. That, in his opinion, was the worst part about not being able to speak. He didn't want people's pity, and he was tired of trying to explain. He often felt like he should carry around a sign that said "I cannot speak, it's a birth defect, it cannot be fixed." or something of that nature, because those were the questions people always asked him.

If more people were like this girl, though, his life would be so much easier. Granted, no one would ever really get much of anything done in conversation if they all just babbled on and on and never waited for a response from the other person, but since he was incapable of verbal response, that didn't matter to him. Of course, Shane would have given just about anything to be able to speak... to be normal like everyone else... but after 18 years he had mostly come to terms with the fact that unless he lived to be about 2000 years old when technology was so advanced that they could fix his disability... he was just going to have to be that mute guy for the rest of his life. He didn't like it... he just knew he had to live with being a freak until the day he died. He would never be like everyone else, and to him that was terribly disheartening.

When finally she stopped, waiting for him to respond, he was lost again. Considering the lack of lighting he couldn't very well just write what he wanted to say, since she probably wouldn't be able to make it out in the darkness. He couldn't imagine what she must've been thinking about his silence. Most people took him as rude and just not wanting to talk to them... but that was definitely not the case. Shane was much too shy and conscious of what other people thought of him to be rude in any way. If his parents had thought they were protecting him and helping him by sheltering him all those years, they were definitely wrong. Though it sounds a bit odd, he sometimes wished they would have forced him out into society when he was younger rather than coddling him for so long, then suddenly deciding he needed a social life and forcing it on him after 17 years. He didn't blame them really... he just wished things could be different.

After a moment of indecision had passed, he just shook his head in response to her question. He didn't mind at all, in fact, as compared to the company of others who were all about him and asking question, he rather liked her and her ability to just keep going without needing an interjection from him. Generally, conversations with him took much longer than usual because he couldn't just say what he was thinking. He had to think about it, write it down, and then pass the note to the other person to read. If only there was an easier way for him to communicate. Sure, there was sign language, but he had never been good at that and there weren't a whole heck of a lot of "normal" people who knew it anyway. There were also those machines that made it so mute people could talk... but he would much rather be mute than sound like some sort of robot. Oh the trails he faced on a day-to-day basis. Life really was much harder when you couldn't speak.

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[paigeturner]

The girl smiled in response and slide down the mule's back and slipped down to his rear. She paused with her sneakers a few feet from the ground, waiting to make sure he didn't try to kick her like that one time. Now thinking about it, she considered this may not be a good idea but it wasn't like she could scale back up easily. With a shrug, she slipped down the mule's rump, gave him a pat and walked over to the boy. I probably shouldn't do that, she said. The mule snorted and lashed his tail as she left, acting as if she was simply some pest on his hide.

Paige flopped down beside the boy, not caring to heed to personal space rules but heeding it enough so Paige didn't brush against the boy. He kicked me once, she explained, though it would be obvious to most why you shouldn't dismount by sliding down a horse's rear end. Course most things weren't very obvious to Paige. It didn't hurt though. Left a bruise, is all. I think he felt sorry afterward. He hasn't done it since, she said, half to herself, half to the boy. Though maybe he has... Ah well, it doesn't matter much since he didn't kick me this time. She shrugged and leaned against the tree.

It hadn't occurred to Paige that the boy had yet to speak or even say his name. To the girl, it seemed like one of the few people that didn't get annoyed of her blabbering or try to put such nonsense like logic into her stories and reasons. Course Paige barely noticed when people were annoyed of her talking and such things like logic were always a funny thing to her.

Paige reached forwards and plucked a grass blade from the ground. Absentmindedly- though she did nearly everything absentmindedly- she pulled off strings and ripped it into smaller and smaller pieces. What are you doing out here in the dark anyways? she asked suddenly, turning to look at the boy while her fingers still fretted with the blade of grass. Though I probably shouldn't be asking you that question... She turned back to look at Freakshow who grazed quietly a few feet away. Considering I'm out here too and all, she said. She then gave a shrug and gave a bit more interest to the blade of grass in her fingers. I just came out here to come out here, she said, as if the boy had asked why she was out there. Paige rarely had a motive or reason to do anything that wasn't necessary.

((I am so so so so so so sorry for not posting here sooner! lol I've had this insane museful week for my book and every time I came on to reply, I thought of something for my book and ended up writing for like five hours XD))

[martin]

Shane watched curiously as the girl slid off her horse's back in a most unusual manner. It was more unusual still when she went on to explain that he kicked her last time she did it. He wasn't quite sure why someone would want to repeat the action that got them kicked... but then again... there were a lot of things he didn't really understand about people, considering he had isolated himself so much that he hardly knew how to interact with them in the first place. He definitely needed to break out of his shell, but he definitely wasn't going to do it on his own. He didn't know why he was so self-conscious when he was around people, but he was, and it bothered him that he couldn't engage in conversation with them like everyone else could.

Normally he would have felt like she was invading his rather large bubble of personal space, but he was already so out of his comfort zone with just having her there that he hardly even noticed it this time... plus her longs strings of talking without seeming to expect a response from him was somewhat comforting. The less he had to respond, the more this situation started to blend into his comfort zone. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he was so at ease with someone being so close after hardly even a moment of knowing them. He was getting so used to her just talking, asking questions and continuing on without waiting for an answer, that he almost didn't realize she had stopped and was waiting for something from him.

A moment of silence passed between them before he realized that some sort of response was required of him. As was his usual habit when he was uncertain or nervous about something or another, he bit his lip slightly and reached for the stack of post-it-notes which was sitting beside him in the grass. He wasn't sure what he was going to write, so when he put his pen to paper, he decided tot just go with being honest.t.. he might as well. "Avoiding people..." he wrote, then peeled it off the top and offered it to her almost a little hesitantly. He didn't want her to think that his answer meant he wanted her to leave... in fact, for the first time in a long time, he sort of hoped she would stay. Normally he just wanted to get encounters with people over with so he wouldn't have to explain... but not this time.

Perhaps it was because he had been here for so long and had yet to make even so much as a single friend and the intrinsic human need for other human companionship was starting to get the best of him. He had such a hard time putting himself out there and was so nervous when people finally did go out of their way to talk to him that he often unintentionally gave out the vibe that he didn't like people and didn't want them to talk to him... when really he watched people interacting day in and day out with their friends and silently longed for what they had. He knew he could probably never have any sort of long lasting relationship with anyone... after all, who wanted to go hang out with the guy who couldn't talk to you? That was part of why he isolated himself so much. As long as people didn't find out he couldn't talk... they would think he was no different from anyone else, and that was what he really wanted... just to be normal.

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[paigeturner]

((I had considered making her dyslexic for a while before I made her XD Would have made this rather interesting if I had))

Paige was honestly not expecting an answer or a reply, if any. She was actually about to go on about how this one time she got her hand stuck in a cookie jar as a child and ever sense she's had an irrational fear of cookie jars and the bitter sweetness of how she wants the cookie, but can't get it.

Paige reached towards her heels and plucked up another long blade of grass and was about to begin the story when she noticed- for once- the boy holding something out for he. Paige paused, looking at it for a moment before snatching it up with an excited, Ooo! A note! It was difficult to read in the dark but after a few seconds of her eyes adjusting, she read the two words scribbled onto the yellow paper.

Course it never occurred to her that she was indeed a person and if she was there, then he couldn't be successful in avoiding people. Nor did she take any subtle hints that he wanted to be alone. Heck, subtle wasn't even in Paige's vocabulary.

Paige searched her pockets and ripped out a black sharpie (Why she had one? Well, long story short, she wanted to color one of the two keys that looked kind of alike on her key chain. She's on a search now for other colors to decorate the rest with.) and flipped the note over. She hesitated, the tip of the marker resting on the small pale yellow paper and leaving a blot of black ink then scribbled out "Neat!" and passed it back to him- well, more like she patted the sticky part onto his arm, but same thing.

I tried that once, she continued, knowing there wouldn't be space on the small post-it note for her rambling. Didn't work out though. I got bored. Then mom thought I was pouting. Don't quite know why. She shrugged and with the sharpie still in her hand, she grabbed the remains of the blade and pressed it against her leg, dotting it with spots and drawing a few stripes onto it. No specific pattern appeared. She still couldn't remember why she was trying to avoid people... Paige sat up from her grass graffiti and sent a small, puzzled glance at the boy. Why are you avoiding people? she blurted out after a short moment of silence, though she simply wanted to know out of pure curiosity and on the thinking that maybe his reason would be the same her's was. Then her gaze drifted off as she thought, trying to remember her reason.

((Sorry for delay again!! Busy, busy week XP))

[martin]

Shane was ever so slightly taken aback when the girl reacted so excitedly to the post-it-note he offered her, then responded by writing back as if this were some sort of game. Not that he was offended or anything of that sort, it was just difficult for him to make light of his situation the way other people seemed to do. He didn't want people to pity him by any means, but he did find it easy to grow weary of the jokes that started as his expense. Most people were well meaning, he knew that, but sometimes he really wished they could all just read his thoughts and realize that his really was a disability and not something that should be the base of their amusement. That was just another reason he had withdrawn away from people so much. The fewer people that knew him well, the less often he would be the object of their entertainment.

More often than not he felt like a circus side show. Most people drilled him with questions the moment they found out about his inability to speak, and he was sick of it. Why people couldn't just leave well enough alone was beyond him. Sometimes he felt like a caged animal being poked and prodded to make him perform, though in his case he was being poked and prodded to ease the appetite of curiosity everyone seemed to develop when around him. He knew they couldn't help it... heck, if he was in their shoes he'd probably do the same thing, but he would much rather be seen as a human than some sort of science experiment.

When she trailed off again though, any hint of annoyance vanished. She seemed quite content with carrying on with this conversation without him interacting at all, and that definitely outweighed anything negative about this. It was nice, having someone who didn't mind his silence and would talk to him instead of about him. Even though he couldn't really participate and the "conversation" was more her rambling than anything, it was a welcome change to being the fly on the wall who was never noticed because of his endless silence.

Suddenly a response was needed from him again almost as suddenly as she had started talking again. He just shrugged slightly, removing the sticky note from his arm where she had stuck it, and wrote "they don't understand." and returned it to her once again. That was the source of all his problems... right after being mute. No one understood what it was like to not be able to talk ever... to not even know what your own voice would sound like if you had one... to not be able to cary on with a normal conversation. No one understood his plight, and he had given up on trying to find someone who did, or at least wouldn't treat him any differently because of it. Maybe that had been all he needed... was to give up on trying to find someone and let them find him... after all, the girl there with him now didn't seem to be treating him any differently than anyone else... heck she hardly even seemed to notice that he was different at all, and didn't even question his initial use of the post-it-note. It seemed almost as if she was impervious to the fact that his behavior was certainly out of the ordinary. He could definitely see himself getting along with her better than he did with most people.

[paigeturner]

There was a pause before she noticed the small note handed back to her. Again, she didn't even question why he chose to communicate with notes. (She was rather unquestioning with most thing simply because it wasn't her business to care. This was the reason she never understood TV shows like What Not To Wear. If the person wanted to dress like a turtle, then why not? Not like it was hurting anyone.) Again, her eyes took a moment to adjust before she could see the words written onto the pale yellow sticky note.

She shrugged a bit. I know what you mean. She flipped the note over and absentmindedly doodled a horse onto the back with her sharpie. She always wanted to an artist when she was younger, but for some reason or another decided she didn't want to be an artist for her whole life. Perhaps it was because she like to doodle more than she liked to actually sketch and paint. Most people won't buy mere doodles after all.

My mom thinks I don't understand anything. Made me to some doctor for a bit, she said as she shrugged again. Paige paused, looking at her little doodle of a horse's head before starting to add a few lines for his mane. Kept asking me questions about how I felt and why I didn't have a lot of friends at school. She managed a small smile at this and finished the horse doodle. Like I knew... Oh! Guess they were right! she laughed lightly.

For a moment, Paige thought about asking what people didn't understand about the boy beside her, then realized- which is odd for her- that she herself probably wouldn't understand. It didn't bother her much. (Heck, not many things bothered her.)

Paige was silent, engrossed in her doodle for the small time being. Privately, she tried to come up with some interesting story to tell the boy, but nothing came to mind. Instead, she hummed a random little tune she made up on the spot, possibly to some old song she remembered from her childhood.