murmurs; open

[Scott Jacob Mason]

HEY SWEETIE, I NEED YOU HERE TONIGHT

I knew I probably shouldn’t be in the barn, not this late, and definitely not looking like this. I had tried, for a few days, to stay away from the fights, to try and heal, I told myself, but I guess in truth, I was really trying to see if I could stop myself without Josh’s help. I thought it had been working, but as it turns out, I thought wrong. I couldn’t help myself that night, I had gone out, fought, and even though I had come out on top this time, I had still received a good beating.

Having walked to the barn, in no state to drive, I stumbled into the warmer interior, the sounds of the horses moving about in their stalls somewhat soothing. I headed straight for Trooper’s stall, fighting waves of dizziness that shot over me every now and again, stopping a few times to lean against the walls until I had regained the strength to keep on going. Why did I do this to myself? It was a question I had asked myself so many times, and the only conclusion I could come up with was that the physical pain blocked out all emotions, I had been hurt by too many people who were meant to never let me down to want to feel anything anymore.

I finally reached the gelding’s stall, opening his tack box with a stiff arm, fishing around gingerly inside with my free hand to find a towel, yanking one out eventually, before I dropped the lid again, seating myself on the now closed trunk. My nose was bleeding, I felt it start the moment the other guy’s fist had connected with it, so I pressed the towel against it, stemming the flow until it slowed, then finally stopped. A cut above my left eyebrow, the black eye I already had made worse, and I could see the cuts and bruises along my knuckles as they gripped the towel in my hands in the dim light.

Able to breathe a little easier now, my torso felt like it was on fire with the larger breathes I was able to take. Fuck, I thought, I’d probably cracked a few ribs, something that had happened to me enough times for me to know what was wrong, either that, or the fresh bruises on top of the old was just taking its toll on the muscles surrounding my ribcage. Dropping the towel on the trunk beside me momentarily, shrugging my jacket off with a pained wince, the movement yanking on my already sore muscles. Next off was the shirt, nobody was here to see the massive purple and black bruising that riddled my torso, so I wasn’t trying to hide it. I groaned, this wasn’t going to fade easily. And god, if Josh saw...she wouldn’t be happy. Not that I was sure if I cared right now, her little games were getting under my skin, and quite frankly, I was just pissed off - at her, at everything. The usual, really.

I JUST FEEL COMPLETE WHEN YOU'RE BY MY SIDE

tagged Open
words 509
muse One Of Those Girls - Avril Lavigne
notes *shakes head*

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[harperxd]

We Will Never Sleep

Insomnia is a terrible thing. Keeps you up all night thinking about nothing and everything. Sucks the life out of a person. For this reason Char decided she needed something to do to occupy her nights. At around eleven for the past couple days she'd went out to the barn and spent time with Zeke. On a couple occasions she'd even fallen asleep in the stall with him. As she drove over she felt exhausted and emotionally and physically yet she knew sleep was no where close. It'd been a generally shitty day. She spent all her time alone with nothing to do. She was new in town and didn't even have a friend to talk to. Not about her mom and dad dieing, and not about her anorexia problem that had reared it's ugly head again. She knew she had a problem but she didn't care.

'Cause Sleep Is For The Weak

After a couple more minutes of driving she reached the barn.That's strange, she thought, usually the lights are off. She didn't thinkk much of it and walked down the barn aisles to see her horse. As she walked towards his stall she realized she wasn't alone. A couple stalls over a man was sitting down dabbing his nose with what?A cloth? She thought he must have a cold or something. She went about with her business and opened her tack box. She retrieved her bag of brushes and went into Zeke's stall. As she was closing his door she caught a glimpse of the man again. He was now shirtless and she realized that he had not been wiping snot from his nose, but blood. He also had massive bruising across his torso. The bruises were big,black,and purple. He had to be in serious shit to get those she thought. After she watched him for a while she realized he was also extremely drunk and he was still wincing from the pain. Maybe that's why he got drunk ,she mused, to numb the pain. She knew that was her excuse for drinking. She decided she couldn't just sit there and watch him suffer. She had to atleast ask him if he wanted help with anything. The worst thing he could do was tell her to piss off. She looked to Zeke for comfort and he nudged her as if to say grow a pair and go help him. She opened Zeke's stall door and slowly walked over to where the man was sitting. As she drew closer her breathing quickened as she saw his face. Though there were various scrapes and cuts it was obvious under all that he was gorgeous. He had a chiseled jaw and short brown hair. If anything, the various wounds on him gave him a rugged,sexy,mysterious appearance. She dug bad boys. She regretted the fact she looked terrible with her hair in a low bun and minimal make up on despite the fact he was so obviously drunk he probably wouldn't remember her in the morning. She cleared her throat so she wouldn't startle him and hesitantly asked,"Excuse me, do you need help? I mean, I have a car, I could drive you somewhere. Your house or a hospital maybe?" As she awaited his reply she grabbed her hoop nose ring and twisted it, a nervous habit of her's. Normally she didn't get nervous around anyone, she thought maybe her lack of sleep and his state of disarray disturbed her.

No We Will Never Rest
So We Are Fucking Dead

[Scott Jacob Mason]

HEY SWEETIE, I NEED YOU HERE TONIGHT

I hadn’t noticed that I wasn’t alone anymore. Perhaps it was due to the fact I couldn’t really focus on much right now, I was just too wrapped up in my thoughts and my injuries weren’t making it any better. I really needed to quit this, to try and shape up again. But after Josh had left without warning it was like my world fell apart again, the pieces she had managed to stick back together to form something that resembled normal, happy, had shattered and I was reverted back to the angry, violent person I had been before. Not something I was proud of.

I only noticed when I heard light footsteps as she came up to me. Shit, I thought to myself, looking up to see a dark haired girl standing there, looking a little nervous. Well, I didn’t really blame her, it wasn’t every day you found a banged up guy sitting in a barn in the early hours of the morning. I cursed myself, I should have just gone home instead, but I hadn’t wanted to go back alone, I didn’t like the silence, and it just felt empty. At least Trooper was here, for all his usefulness at keeping me company, and the sounds of the other horses made it feel less...empty.

“Not much you can do to help, I’m afraid,” I answered, sounding a little hoarse. Nothing could probably help me now, unless Josh decided to change her mind. “Don’t need a hospital, I’ll heal. And home isn’t looking too great either,” I continued, knowing I was probably being a little difficult, and she was only trying to help. Sighing, I figured I should probably be less abrupt, I couldn’t keep going on in Addison alone, or just trying to talk sense into Josh, it was going to send me even further downhill. “Thanks for the offer, though. I’d take you up on it but I don’t know if there’s anywhere I want to go right now,” I said, watching her.

I JUST FEEL COMPLETE WHEN YOU'RE BY MY SIDE

tagged Charlotte
words 337
muse Emjay playing WoW.
notes Sorry it took a while to get up, I’ve been travelling and stuffs =)

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