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Post by James Michael Colburn on Nov 14, 2010 22:19:50 GMT -8
Alcohol... it was blamed for a lot of the world's problems. High school students overdosing, college students getting smashed then driving and causing accidents, men getting drunk and beating their wives, women getting drunk and beating their kids, bar brawls, this or that. Hell, alcohol was probably being blamed for global warming too. But to Jamie Colburn, alcohol was the very essence of life. He couldn't even remember the last time he went a day without drinking. He started when he was probably no older than 14, and when he hit high school... well, he's been a heavy drinker for a long time. Granted he's no lightweight and he found it easy to drink a hell of a lot and still function like a normal human being, so saying he was a heavy drinker was saying a lot, especially since he was wealthy enough to afford all the alcohol he wanted.
Typically, Jamie didn't drink a lot of alcohol in large quantities in short periods of time... except on certain dates when he wanted nothing more than to get drunk and remember absolutely nothing about it... but there were only a few of those. Other than that, he was always rather... "classy" with his drinking as he was with everything. Despite how much of a jackass Jamie was, no one could say that he lacked class. Even when he was blatantly insulting someone, he did it in a way that somehow almost didn't seem like an insult, despite being obviously so. When he needed something, he manipulated people into making it happen for him, but somehow people rarely realized that they had been coerced into doing something they normally wouldn't have done. Yes, despite everything, Jamie Colburn was a splendidly classy guy... in a scary sort of way.
That being said he didn't normally go out and purchase his own alcohol, since he typically had it on order in a constant supply that was simply replenished on a regular basis. Unfortunately, he had just gone through a period of a week in which he was almost constantly wasted so as to avoid thinking about the things that had happened on that date a few years ago... and his stock wasn't due to be replenished for a day or two... so he had to go and get more himself. Sure, he could just go to a bar or club or whatever... but he really wasn't feeling very social at all, and bars just weren't his style... then again, grocery stores weren't his style either, but he would much rather "demean" himself by going to a grocery store than getting sucked into some long boring conversation with an antique of a bartender about the war or some stupid girl who just wanted to get laid. Needless to say, he was in a bad mood.
Because of the rotten mood, he decided he would much rather walk than drive... it was an old habit that had started when he was just a kid. He and his half brother Chuck were only a few years apart, and whenever one, or both, of them had a bad day, they'd walk home so as to avoid all the other kids who rode the bus. It was plenty safe, their adopted dad was the chief of police in the town where they lived, no one would lay a hand on them. In high school it was the same way, and college too. He couldn't explain why he did it now that he was older and there wouldn't be anyone else in the car with him... for some reason or another walking just made things a little less awful. Not long after he started out... walking turned out to be a bad idea. It had started to rain and the further he went the harder the rain fell. sure, he was a little annoyed, but he would live, a little rain never hurt anyone.
By the time he actually got there though, he really wasn't feeling the unquenchable urge to drink anymore, and thus had no reason to actually go into the store. He considered turning right around and just leaving, but he was already pretty well completely soaked and considering the mild temperatures of the fall, he decided to wait for it to taper off a bit before heading back. So he stopped under the eave of the store outside to do a bit of one of his favorite pass times, people watching. Even when he wasn't working on some sort of plot line or script, he still enjoyed it, for whatever creeper reason he might have The odds of him seeing someone he knew here were quite slim... seeing as the type of people he normally hung out around were the sort who hired people to do their grocery shopping for them, but he wouldn't be bothered if he did see someone he knew... odds were it would be someone he had terrorized before, and he would undoubtedly find some sort of joy out of terrorizing them again, it was just what he did.
Words: 873
Tagged: Morgan/Ashie
Notes: worst crap post everrrrrr *dies*
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Post by morgan on Nov 22, 2010 9:50:52 GMT -8
 anything goes, no time for closed minds Lately, things had gone from bad to worse in her life. For example, just when she thought she had her health well under control, the cancer decided to punch her in the face and get her sick (terribly sick). Struggling with what would have normally been a common cold now turned almost deadly, she still adamantly refused to abort. Even if her doctor got down on his hands and knees, cried into a vial, handed her his bottled tears and begged her until his tongue bled, she wouldn’t change her mind. It was only recently that she managed to breathe without coughing and she wasn’t struggling to keep down a fever that was threatening to boil her and her baby’s brain. It was only just recently that her friends and doctors had stopped talking about wills and funerals.
She had dabbled too close to the edge, and still didn’t care.
In fact, her doctor had told her that he was hoping she’d get so sick she’d get scared. The only thing Morgan could do at the statement was laugh. He had known her for a while now, and it tickled her that somehow he still couldn’t see that there was nothing he could say or do, there was nothing that her friends could say or do, and there was nothing that could possibly happen to her that’d make her second guess her choice. Through hell and high water, she was going to prove everyone wrong (regardless of the 85% chance that she’d be proving her point the wrong way through a coffin and being six feet under).
Even though she was still sick, she was getting extremely bored simply laying around her house.
Even though it was cold and rainy outside, she was going to go out. Even though she could ask a friend to bring her needed groceries, Morgan felt like she was losing her touch with the world, and was missing the social interaction that going ‘out and about’ entailed. Bundling up to meet her own standards (this meant a jacket, jeans and a scarf), Morgan headed out with her trusty umbrella in tow, she was going on a mission that’d probably only make her life worse, but repercussions only deserved to be considered after the fact.
At least the grocery store wasn’t too far.
Heading out into the misery, she tucked her hands in her pockets, with one gingerly holding on to her umbrella, angry that the wind was blowing it onto her pants and whatever wasn’t covered by her supposedly sufficient umbrella. By the time she made it to the store, her front side was thoroughly soaked and she was shivering and coughing, perhaps in hindsight, she should have driven. As she made her way to the entrance she noticed a familiar face, screwing up her expression for the slightest moment, she studied him then walked forward. Hiding under the awning, watching the rain fall for a moment, shivering she looked at her umbrella then her pants and part of her jacket and closed up her umbrella and held out her hand to the man she had met not too long ago,
Fat lot of good it did me, allow me to spread the misery of partial coverage and give you my useless umbrella.
o548
notes: oh I’m ssssooo sorry that this isn’t very long (im getting sick Dx) and that this took a whileeeeee. –is shot-
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Post by James Michael Colburn on Nov 24, 2010 19:55:13 GMT -8
Today, Jamie was dressed quite casually in a thin jacket, t-shirt, and jeans, certainly not dressed to deal with the rain that was coming down in massive amounts. He was practically soaked through, but he hardly seemed to notice the cold. He was far to preoccupied with his own thoughts. On occasion he would catch himself thinking instead of just people watching, and mentally kick himself for it... but moments later, it would happen again. He really needed less time to himself to think about unwanted thoughts, unfortunately, since he hated people he never spent any time with them, and since he never spent any time with other people, he had all that time to himself. Life was so difficult for rich self-centered jackasses like Jamie. Oh the trials the rich and famous endured.
Jamie had been standing there for quite some time and had gotten fairly dry, though was still rather cold, when all of a sudden there was someone beside him offering him her umbrella. He shifted his attention over to the girl slowly and with very mild interest. He could have sworn he recognized her, but she looked somehow different than she had before, and he couldn't quite place her. He looked at her for a long several moments, trying to process where he had seen her before, when it finally clicked. The pregnant girl from the coffee shop. Apparently she was bad luck as far as weather was concerned, considering the last time he saw her it had started raining, now it was raining and he was seeing her again. After taking a closer look, though, she looked just plain awful. At least the first time he'd seen her she actually looked decent, now... completely different story.
Nevertheless, Jamie couldn't abandon his usual high and mighty personality. Why would you think I would want that? he asked, not really expecting an answer to the question. You look awful. He had to add that last bit in just because he was Jamie and that was who he was. He couldn't possibly let her off without throwing a blatant insult out there to top it all off. He was incapable of refraining from being a jackass even when something was clearly wrong with her. If he hadn't been hiding behind this mask for so long then he would have been able to show a little compassion, but as it was, he'd been pretending to be this person for so long that he really had become that person.
Secretly he didn't really think she looked that awful, in fact, he found her to be rather attractive, though very ill. He wasn't going to say that though. Oh no, that would be far too kind. Jamie would never say anything that might be considered even slightly complimentary, unless he was working out some business deal, in which case he would be much more kind and not so... forthright. He was very good at getting what he wanted however he needed to get it. He was like a very well oiled machine, and he had it done so well that there was absolutely nothing that could possibly throw him off kilter.... well there was one thing but no one knew what it was so it was irrelevant... or so he thought. Jamie was an evil mastermind in a not so... destroy the world sort of way. He did everything to benefit himself, and if it benefited others then hats off to them... if it didn't benefit others... oh well... shame on them for falling into his well baited trap. Life and love with the world's greatest extortionist... God help the world if he should ever be put in a position of power.
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Post by morgan on Dec 8, 2010 13:14:08 GMT -8
anything goes, no time for closed minds Whenever she got sick, she got really sick, and for Morgan it was always fun for people to just assume that she was really quite terrible at taking care of herself as far as her immune system went then for her to correct them and let them know that she had cancer and really, there wasn’t much she could do about it. While she was far from sadistic, the look of shock followed by sorrow, regret, or sympathy always seemed to be something so tickling that she always hoped someone else was going to do it again. Except for today; today she was not in the mood to reach for regretted actions from someone else simply because they made a comment about her appearance and health without knowing her full situation. Today she just wanted to get in, get out, and get home without dying.
As was one of her goals every day, but it was more so today than any other.
Most of the time she loved getting sick, especially as a kid. When she was younger, she couldn’t wait for the next cold and flu season to roll around. See, Morgan had never been much of a school kid. Most of the time she had better things to do (like ride horses). The only thing being deathly sick ever stopped her from doing was going to school. However, most of the time she had to sneak out of the house as a kid to go ride as their philosophy had been that if she was too sick to go to school she was too sick to go out to the barn. Still, this rule did not stop her from enjoying her favorite sport when she was sick. There was only one time when such actions almost killed her. One time when she was sick it was cold and rainy and she chose to ride; this of course lead to a sudden contraction of pneumonia which hospitalized her (she hated and still hates hospitals).
Strangely enough, that experience did not keep her from doing what she did.
Now though, it only made sense that she didn’t like to get sick, as getting sick could mean that she’d spend her last days alive stuck in a bed with hospital attendees around her bed all alone. With no living relatives and no ‘real’ friends, Morgan was already well aware that her funeral would be a sad, quiet one. She at least hoped that someone somewhere would care enough to make sure that she had flowers on her grave. What was worse, she feared losing the baby the most. Forget her own life, she had another life to worry and knew that if she got too sick she’d probably lose the baby. She eyed the man (whose name she still did not know) as he sourly asked why on earth he’d want her umbrella that hadn’t done its job. Casually shrugging she said,
I don’t know, this is the time of gift-giving, isn’t it? I figured I’d get an early start for the holidays and begin with giving the gift of a mostly useless umbrella. But hey, if you don’t want it, I can keep it for myself.
What he said next was something she’d generally laugh at, but found little humor in this go-round. Narrowing her eyes at him she spoke with a tart, unimpressed tone,
Thanks, ass hole. I hear cancer does that to people, that and I don’t own a single mirror in my house.
o586
notes: WHAT? ME? POSTING? WTFFFFF.
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Post by James Michael Colburn on Dec 10, 2010 17:13:21 GMT -8
Holidays... Jamie hated them. He was kind of a grinch when it came to that sort of thing, but he just couldn't help it. The last time he'd seen his mom had been at Christmas when he couldn't come up with a good enough excuse to stay away, and needless to say, he'd sort of been a jackass to everyone, if only to hide how terrified he was of losing his mom. Jamie had never been any good at dealing with emotions. After having watched his dad suffocate when they took him off life support, it was like he put up a bomb proof bunker, forced every bit of emotion into it and locked the door then barricaded it with everything he possibly could.
Unfortunately, it seemed he had missed just tiny little bits of emotion, and whenever those were evoked all those barricades came crashing down and all of it came spilling out against his will. There was very little that could trigger this, luckily, and most of the time those things never came up. However, not so luckily, Morgan had just stumbled upon one of them... and what was worse, she wasn't just bringing it up, she actually had it... he was doomed. As soon as she said cancer, something changed in him. His normal emotionless expression vanished, and in its place an almost fear of sorts combined with unwelcomed emotional pain showed through. You can't be serious... he said, clearly legitimately in disbelief.
Most people probably instantly went into pity mode when she told them she had cancer, but that wasn't quite the reaction she was getting from Jamie. It was a strange transformation in him, one that would probably never come from anyone else. He felt awful for having treated he that way, even though it really hadn't been all that bad. It was like all the guilt he felt for everything he'd done while his mom was sick was lumped up into the guilt he felt for being so... less than kind towards her. That arrogant and high and mighty air about him just disappeared into thin air as if it hadn't ever been there. Just those simple words had turned off his jackass mode and brought out who he was underneath all that.
Jamie was hurting a lot underneath of the arrogant facade he'd put up for all the world to see. It was probable that no one would understand why he did what he did, but he really just couldn't handle emotional pain, it pushed him over the edge. Guys always put up a tough exterior, but Jamie just couldn't do it. Physical pain, sure, he could deal with that, same as any guy who was into sports like football, but emotional pain was his kryptonite. He would be easy to get to if anyone were to find that out. Though he pretended to not care about anyone ever, and pretended to hate kids, but really he felt their pain, so hid it underneath his bitterness so no one would ever know. He was, after all, just like every other guy, and the last thing he wanted was for people to know that he really did feel things.
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Post by morgan on Jan 4, 2011 20:09:04 GMT -8
anything goes, no time for closed minds Oone upon a time, Morgan was scared of what death would have to offer for her. When she was a child, she was terrified of what waited just beyond the veil of life. Not a solid Christian (or follower of any religion at that), she did not believe in God, nor did she believe in Hell. She refused to accept the possibility of a higher being controlling every aspect of her life. In fact, her disbelief in the Christian God had been completely dispelled by the time she discovered she had cancer. Morgan believed that no God who truly loved his creation would allow such terrible things to happen to his children. After all, hard times fell upon Christians and heretics alike. What point was it for her to worship someone who was allowing her to suffer in the manner in which she was suffering?
Only recently has she come to terms with death.
After several doctor’s visits of her very own doctor giving her an expiration date, she began to simply ignore his threats of what would happen if she refused to abort and receive the proper treatment. Oddly enough, Morgan was in this for purely selfish reasons. She was not in it to raise a child in the manner in which she wish she’d been raised, she did not want to have a kid just so she could feel the joy of being a mother. No. In fact, she’d probably adopt the kid out after it was born as she had no obvious desire to truly be a mother. The only reason she was still pregnant was because people continued to tell her that she couldn’t survive her cancer and have a kid at the same time. Which is funny, because most people seemed to think that her having cancer had nothing to do with her being pregnant.
When really she was pregnant because after she’d been told she had cancer, she no longer felt she had a reason to care about her life.
That sort of thinking is why she’d probably be the world’s worst mother. In fact, when the man (whose name she still didn’t know) gave her a look of disbelief and told her she couldn’t be serious, she simply smirked and leaned over on her umbrella, using it as a cane, putting all of her weight onto it, she rocked forward slightly, then backwards. For a second, she let the silence fill the space between them before shrugging and laughing bitterly,
Yeah, I’m completely kidding. I just like to tell people I have cancer for the attention because I was abused as a child.
She offered him a mirthful smile before laughing and saying,
I know, how many stage two cancer patients do you see with beautiful hair? Or pregnant? My appearance makes it hard to believe that I’ve got a tumor growing inside of me at about the same rate as this baby…but fuck. Mother Nature’s funny, isn’t it. And now that you know I’ve probably got an expiration date stamped on my foot, what harm would it be to give your name to a woman who’s already got one foot in her grave? Maybe you could be the only person at my funeral.
She just didn’t know when to stop.
o548
notes: sorry it took so long D:
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Post by James Michael Colburn on Jan 16, 2011 19:30:32 GMT -8
Oh dear me, was is possible that someone had just found the key to the impermeable gates in the impenetrable fortress that Jamie had put up around his heart? If there was one thing Jamie had absolutely never come to terms with it was death. Having been so young and watching his dad suffocate like that literally had scarred him for life. He couldn't handle death, the very thought of it terrified him. He was so in control of everything in life, and not knowing what, if anything, came after death, it just freaked him out. He couldn't really explain why because he really didn't know why. That feeling of helplessness watching someone die was like trying to hold back a wave on the sand. It made him feel so empty and lost, he couldn't handle feeling that way again. That was why he visited his family as little as possible while his mom was dying, that was why he didn't go to her funeral, and that was why he was now standing here like a fish out of water trapped against the wall by a two pronged hotdog roaster.
As she confirmed that she was serious, Jamie only got more uncomfortable. He didn't like this feeling that was cornered, but he couldn't seem to think of a way out of it. As brilliant as he was, talk of cancer and death was his mind's Kryptonite. It shut off all ability for him to think. Everything she said after that was hardly registering in his mind as the guilt and the pain of everything he had tried to block out seemed to flood his every thought no matter how hard he tried to stop it. He was almost a completely different person now that his defenses had been broken down. He struggled to find anything to say.. what could he say, she'd not only just told him she had cancer but also that she didn't expect anyone to care enough to show up to her funeral when she died. With that thought he was reminded of hoe selfish he'd been for not going to his mother's funeral If there was life after death, did she think he didn't care enough to go to her funeral? He was suddenly hit with the full weight of how disappointed she had to have been when he refused to come home. He should have been there with her.
Somehow, somewhere admits all those jumbled thoughts of hoe awful a person he was and whatnot reality managed to sneak in, and as soon as it did and he realized he was standing there stupidly silent in front of this woman, all those thoughts were silenced and he could breathe again. It took him a moment longer to remember what it was she had said that he should have been responding to before he was able to speak again. Jamie... he said at long last when he had finally gathered his senses enough to actually form words. How does... can I do anything? he asked, clearly a little rattled by this discovery. His really wasn't like your typical reaction to finding out a complete stranger had cancer, but that was Jamie for you, nothing he did was really Typical.
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