Love This Pain | OPEN

[Lena Kirsten Cordell]

Lena watched Jessie drawing carefully in the blank notepad she had bought for her for the car trip to Addison, coloured pencils shaken out of their case and strewn across the low coffee table sitting in front of one of the couches in the lounge area of the barn, where she was kneeling, little elbows resting her small weight on the wooden top, the top of her golden curls were all she could see, knowing that those big blue eyes of hers were watching her every stroke carefully, trying to get whatever it was she was drawing just right.

She was leaning back in to the couch, six month old Jack cradled in her lap, his back leaning against her midriff, using her right arm as a pillow as he dozed. It wasn’t the first time she was thankful that she had been blessed with mostly well behaved children, though there was still a lot of time to find out whether Jack would follow in his big sister’s footsteps, since he was too young for much yet. She couldn’t even call Jessie insisting on picking her own clothing each day as her misbehaving, the six year old usually had a good sense of what was appropriate, marching out of her bedroom that morning, despite being in a skirt, wearing pink tights, her favourite pair of wellingtons, and a sensible, warm jacket. It had all fit rather well together, and was okay for the barn...so she wasn’t really going to argue with her over it.

Not that Lena could really ride, right now. She couldn’t leave the kids with anyone, and wouldn’t dream of taking either of them anywhere near Demon. Lilly was more tolerant of the stroller, though she seemed to get...jealous...of the attention Lena gave her two children over her, and would try to bite if Jessie got too close, luckily the little girl had enough sense to stay away from her. Demon was just...you could definitely tell he was Diego’s horse. She didn’t even want to ride him, though someone had to do it, she didn’t trust him nearly as far as she did Lilly, and even with the mare it was a stretch, and she’d be stuck if she got hurt riding him with them around.

Everything had changed so much, over the last six months. The last thing she would’ve thought would have happened, was finding out that Diego had been stealing horses to support them. Not that he got caught, just that he would be so reckless and do something stupid enough that could get him thrown in jail and keep him from his family. It was probably what had finally made her decide to leave, after almost seven years with him. She’d been through hell because of him, and it was the last straw, she couldn’t wait around for another six years for him to get out, and it wasn’t fair on Jessie or Jack.

It had been painful to do so, however, but she’d gained the courage to do it, with Charlie’s help. But now she was in Addison, alone, raising two children under the age of seven by herself, it was overwhelming. She had mostly done it by herself before everything had happened...but she hadn’t ever thought that she would literally be alone doing it.

Jack stirred in her arms, face wrinkling up into the start of a wail, which snapped her out of her thoughts. Shifting him into a more comfortable position, cradling him closer, she started trying to quiet him before he burst out into full blown bawling.

Tagged Open
Words 598
Outfits Lena, Jessie & Jack
Muse Black Box - Stan Walker
Notes First post with Lena, whooo.

[adelaide1]

Victoria Kathryn O'Reilly

The fall air was somewhat calming. The smell was sharp and cold, if there really is a smell for the cold. To some people, it was the smell of a freezer. To others, though, it was the smell of fall and winter. The surrounding area was brightly colored with oranges and reds and browns hinted in there. The air was undisturbed, and the area was vacant. All except for a little blue car driving along the road making it's way toward Crossfire Farms. The sun was fairly high in the sky, and the woman inside the car knew that she was running late, but she didn't really feel any need to rush. Her horses would be perfectly fine waiting a little while before they were put to work. In fact, they would like it a lot more, but the woman knew that two of her horses were already being worked for the day, if not done with their workouts.

Her name was Victoria O'Reilly, and as she pulled into the drive that led her to the farm, she looked into the pastures, trying to see if she could spot her horses. She shook her head, knowing that they probably hadn't been let out last night. Well, all except for Song of the Bluebird and Arizona's Bluebird. Still, Victoria didn't see them in the pasture. She sighed and pulled her car to a stop. It died as she turned the key and she stepped out of her car, stretching slightly and feeling the cool fall air hit her in the face and hands. Everywhere else was covered by a warm sweatshirt, jeans, and boots. She closed her door behind her and started walking toward the barn. She didn't look for her horses right away and instead went into the lounge.

Victoria smiled when she saw who was in the lounge. Her good friend, Lena, and her two little kids. She looked them over and shook her head. Sure, Lena had a six year old, meaning that she had a child when she was nineteen, but that didn't matter to Victoria. She loved the little girl anyway. And the little boy. Oh the little boy was adorable, and Victoria loved him too. She felt a little sorry for Lena, though, being an single mom of two young children, and all. Victoria tried to help her out as much as she could. She walked over to where Lena sat with Jack, Lena trying to calm him down. She sighed and watched the two for a moment before she spoke. How's everything going, Lena?

[/b] She asked, looking down at Jessie and fingering her keys in her hands. She had a plan to help give Lena a break from the kids for a while, but she knew that Lena would come right along, ruining the point of getting away from them. But that was alright. Victoria needed an extra hand in what she was going to do today anyway.[/size][/color]

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Words;; 503
Tags;; Lena
Muse;; My goodness, it's not as high as I thought it was...
Notes;; Sorry for the bad post. The next one should be better...[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Lena Kirsten Cordell]

I shifted Jack so I was holding him upright against my torso, his head resting on my shoulder, hugging him and patting him on the back gently. He seemed to calm a little, he had always been a rather cuddly baby and the closer he was to me, the calmer he seemed to get when he was upset. I guess most of my guilt about leaving was because of the six month old in my arms, he wouldn’t have any memories of his father, and might not ever know him, if Diego decided to leave us be once he had gotten out of jail. Though I doubted that, we had been through too much together for me to expect him to not have some hope for our relationship in five and a half year’s time, if he even stayed inside for that long, there had been a chance at the sentence being reduced if he didn’t cause any trouble.

And I wasn’t going to keep his children from him, either, I was in no way that sort of person, and I would never do that to either Jessie or Jack. It would just be me that would want to keep a distance between myself and him, I’d been hurt too many times, and I knew, that if I let my guard down, I’d let him straight back in and it would go back to how it had been. But I couldn’t do that anymore, it would only lead to pain.

“Mum, can I go riding?” Jessie’s voiced snapped me out of my thoughts, she had placed the red pencil she had been drawing with down on the table, watching me with solemn blue eyes. I smiled at my daughter, aware that I probably looked tired, stretched, even to her, I could barely look in the mirror and recognise myself these days. I tried my best for them though, the overwhelming need to not let them down pretty much consumed my waking hours, and I couldn’t even remember the last time I had done anything for myself, or even asked for help recently. Even when Charlie offered to do something with them, I couldn’t help but have to go too, I just wanted to be there for them, they were all I had.

“I don’t know sweetie, I’ll have to see if Carlee has any ponies you can ride. You might have to wait until uncle Charlie and Dawson get here, you can ride him,” I replied, watching her nod. Again, I felt blessed that she understood, and didn’t throw a tantrum like a lot of children her age I had witnessed. I didn’t mind if she rode, I was just wary of the particular mount, so I wasn’t game enough to let her ride any of the barn’s ponies until I had checked them out myself. Dawson, Charlie’s Hanoverian gelding, was probably the only horse I would let her on, the horse was so placid and gentle, a far cry from Lilly and Demon, but even then either myself or Charlie never left her side, and he didn’t go without a lead on him as well as the bridle.

I heard someone enter the room, looking up briefly to see who it was. Victoria. I had known her as a kid, we’d been good friends, we both had twin brothers, went to the same school, loved horses, so we had sort of gravitated towards each other. I gave her a smile as she came over, feeling Jack finally begin to settle against my shoulder.

“Hey. We’re doing okay,” I replied.

Tagged Victoria
Words 600
Outfits Lena, Jessie & Jack
Muse Love Sick Stomach Ache (Sugar Coated Accident) - Bowling For Soup
Notes Sorry for the random change from third to first person, I just can't write in third at the moment, oddly enough.