like they do on the DISCOVERY CHANNEL {Jamie}

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

Looking at the clock in his car, Jayden gritted his teeth and cursed under his breath as he realized that thanks to the four car accident on the interstate, he’d more than likely be late for his date at the East Addison Zoo. If he could even call it a ‘date’. It was more like spending a day ignoring the blistering heat and pain in his leg walking around a zoo in an attempt to impress a girl he had met during the week. Though, if anyone really knew Jayde, who could criticize him for trying to be ‘normal’ again? After spending a whole year and a half out of the dating game, perhaps it was more than time for him to push the pain away and move on.

As if. Jayden had a hard time letting go.

After sitting idle for at least twenty minutes, the traffic began to move. Patiently waiting his turn to exit the highway, he turned the music up in an effort to ease his racing mind. He couldn’t help but have his doubts that she’d even show up, who in their right mind would even go on a zoo date? The condescending voice in the back of his head kept him worrying. Finally, he made it, with five minutes to spare. Taking advantage of his ‘handicapped’ status he stole one of the spots. Looking around he did not see Jamie yet; part of his heart dropped into his stomach. However, he pushed away the negative thoughts and walked to the ticket line.

It was times like these when he loved using his US Military ID to reap his hard earned rewards.

Buying two tickets at half price he walked away from the ticket booth after the man behind the glass thanked him for his service, a gesture of gratitude that Jayden simply smiled and nodded at. Turning around he spotted Jamie coming up to the entrance, realizing that his dog tags were still out he tucked them away under his shirt and walked to meet her halfway. Holding out her ticket to her he smiled brightly and said,
Glad to see you could make it, don’t worry about the ticket; I got it at half price. Oh the perks of serving my country. And honestly, I don’t think it could be any hotter, do you?

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.391
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; OMNOMNOM

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

Of course she got stuck behind an accident that would inevitably make her late as hell to her first date with Jayden. Yes she was calling it a date because well..they were going out somewhere together even if it was the zoo and hot as hell outside. This was just the right kind of day to go though since no one would be at the zoo, and they really could be like kids again. Jamie always remembered going to the zoo and getting a zoo key because then she could listen to all of the different recordings about the animals and such. She still had her collection and had even brought two along as a joke. The one she was going to give Jayden was a bright orange elephant with a shoelace that read 'East Addison Zoo' all over it in bright letters. It was cute, something she thought that would be kind of funny to give him.

Finally she got to the damned zoo and found hersel a parking spot in the middle of nowhere that was so far away from the entrance she'd probably sweat her butt of on the walk. At least she had dressed cooler today, wearing a pretty little jean skirt with a nice blue top she had actually forgotten she had. Though Jamie had been smart, opting to wear comfortable sneakers while they walked and had thrown a pair of flip flops into her truck for later. Making her way up to the entrance she spotted Jayden, watching him tuck his dogtags away which made her smile. Oh he had used his military status to get a discount on his tickets, she was liking him already.

"You didn't have to do that," she said gently, shaking her head but took the ticket. "Thank you." Jamie fished the elephant key out of her pocket and stood on her tippy toes to put it around his neck. "I remember collecting these as a kid, I'm not exactly sure why I have an Easy Addison Zoo key since I didn't grow up here but I must have visited. Why not really make it an experience," she giggled, shaking her head and set one around her neck. Hers was bright blue with a bit of a fat scratch in the side but she still loved it. This one wasn't an East Addison key, rather it was from her hometown zoo that actually didn't use the Elephant keys anymore. "Well, shall we?" she asked with a gentle smile, starting to walk towards the gate.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]BLAHBLAH
( WORDS ) ####
( TAGGED ) leslie ayres
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
[/color][/font]

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

Honestly, Jayden could not remember the last time he had gone to the zoo. In fact, he had no memory of any type of zoo visit. His family had gone on several cross country vacations in the summer that required him to be shoved into one car with his constantly bickering mother and father, forced to stare hopelessly out the window as America sped by. His mom and dad didn’t believe in normal childhood fun, they wanted him to learn to appreciate the place he lived, to take in its beauty.

And he had plenty of time to do that as a kid.

Now that he was his own, crippled man, he was free to re-visit the childhood memories that he never had a chance to make. Truth be told, he was excited to walk around the zoo. If he were many years younger he’d probably be jumping up and down tugging on Jamie’s sleeve, begging her to show him all the animals, but such foolish behavior was far behind him, he now kept his excitement contained and would animatedly walk around the zoo and ignore the pain.

Because sometimes having something else to think about really helped.

Shaking his head as she said he didn’t have to cheat on getting her a cheaper (but free for her) ticket and simply smirked,
I don’t get to use the military perks as often as I once did, so when I can, I do. And I did.
To his delight, she did not reject the ticket but took it, and handed him a brightly colored elephant hanging on a shoestring. Eyeing it he took it from her and laughed as she said that she might as well make it a real experience. Thinking to himself, My first experience, thank you very much. Gesturing for her to go first as she walked towards the entrance he followed. Once on the other side he looked around, taking in the situation with the lighting quick thinking process that he had been forced to learn back on the frontline.

Kids, balloons, pre-recorded animal sounds, the smell of fast food mixed with the hot air.

Status report: situation safe. Operation zoo date is a go. Spotting someone selling maps he walked over and smiled as the man asked for a whole 5 dollars, but upon flashing his dog tags and Army ID, the man simply handed him one. Public places, the one place Jayden could milk the rewards of keeping everyone’s favorite homeland free. Walking back to Jamie with a notably decreased limp in his step he opened the map and said,
Where to first? You lead the way.

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.422
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; SENSORY OVARLOAADD haha

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

Jamie automatically assumed that all kids were able to visit a zoo in their childhood, I mean, it was the thing to do as a kid. School trips were a constant with Jamie when she was a kid, pretty much every year until she was in fifth or sixth grade they would go in the spring. When she gave him the key she could only smile, having to remind herself she would have to try and give him the money back for the ticket. Smiling gently with a shake of her head, she started into the zoo.

He used his perks pretty much but it simply made her smile when he got the map for free. "You're too damned cute," she said with a giggle, shaking her head. Holy hell she really just said Jayden was cute and boy did she blush because of it. Jamie usually wasn't so ballsy about things like this, well she wasn't ballsy about anything. At least she got to forget about what she said when the sudden chaos of the zoo hit her senses. The smell of animals mixed with sweat, fast food and garbage wasn't usually a welcoming smell for someone but to Jamie, it was. The zoo was exciting for her even at twenty-one years old and on her way to having a solid career in horses. Whenever she did something that she did when she was a kid, she felt like she was a child once more.

Turning back to Jayden when he walked up to her she quirked her head, thinking of where they could go. "Hmmm...hippos?" she asked with a smile, walking towards where the hippos were. She made sure to stay close to him since there were a decent amount of people at the zoo and she didn't want to get lost. As they made the turn down the little ramp that led them to the bigger animals a kid ran past them with a nice stack of balloons. Right into Jamie's face they went and she made a little squeal before managing to untangle herself from them. Watching the little kid run off she turned to Jayden, giggling again. "Well, can't go to a zoo without being attacked by a kid with balloons can you?" she giggled again, shaking her head.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]IHAVEBADMUSE
( WORDS )
( TAGGED ) JAYDEN!
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
[/color][/font]

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

Some of Jayden’s fellow soldiers would frown upon the way he used and abused his privileges, but they were the ones that refused to see outside of the box, simply convinced that there was only one way to do things, and that anything beyond that was wrong or illegal. Jayden viewed such things as ‘if there’s nothing technically saying I can’t, then I’m going to do it’. Case in point, buying two tickets at half price and getting a free map of the zoo, both perfect examples of his theory. In his eyes, the public place full of grateful patriots was his playground, his place to shove it in people’s faces that the reason he couldn’t walk normally was because he decided to pick up a gun at 18 and learn how to kill.

Living off of tax payer dollars had become his true specialty.

Watching Jamie as she studied the map he smirked at her ‘cute’ comment, the grin reached his eyes as well (the first real smile in a long time) as he fiddled with the elephant key on his neck and said,
Well, thank you. I think I’m rather attractive as well. And don’t sell yourself short, doll. You’re quite the looker as well.
He winked at her then nodded as she said they could go look at the hippos, walking beside her and keeping close, ignoring the creeping sense of claustrophobia as he warily eyed the crowd. Without warning, he heard Jamie squeal, not thinking the ‘stay alive’ instincts kicked in as he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Realizing that it was just balloons he dropped her arm and forced a smile at her comment, willing his racing heart to calm down,
Haha, sorry…

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.29o
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; JEEZE JAYDEN, CALM DOWN.

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

Slowing her pace down to keep beside Jayden, she actually had to make longer strides to do so. She wasn't terribly short but wasn't tall either, a solid 5'4" was a decent height in her mind. It wasn't average but for her her height worked out well. His comment made her blush and look at the map sheepishly, a giggle managing to work its way out of her. She was awfully giggly today, not usually being one to giggle a whole lot. Now laughing, oh that was something Jamie did a lot but definitely not giggling. It would just be she hadn't been out with someone in awhile and she was getting all giddy about being out with a guy. As she already blurted out, Jayden was pretty damned hot.

When the whole balloon incident happened she yelped in surprise when Jayden grabbed her and she instinctively pressed into him a bit. Turning her gaze to look up at him she shook her head, smiling a little. "It's ok. My instinct is to grab someone when they yell too," she said lightly and nodded. Honestly she had been glad he had grabbed her because she didn't know what was on the other side of the balloons...well other than more kids. Then again, if he hadn't have grabbed her she would have kindly been run into by a kid with ice cream in his hand and that would have pissed her off. Deciding to just smile and try to ignore the blush on her cheeks, Jamie walked beside Jayden again. This time she was closer to him, not wanting to be too far away from him and she liked the closeness.

"Hippos!" Jamie said excitedly, laughing lightly before stopping against the high wall that stood between them and the hippos below. She stared down at them brightly while one of the zookeepers fed the bigger of the hippopotamus'. "Everytime I see a Hippo I always think of that silly Christmas song. Who would want a Hippopotamus for Christmas?" Her question made her laugh because honestly, she wouldn't want a hippopotamus as a pet. They smelled terrible and plus, her horses were big enough for her so the hippos could stay at the zoo where she could look at them.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]IHAVEBADMUSESTILL
( WORDS ) 378
( TAGGED ) JAYDEN!
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
[/color][/font]

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

This time would not be the first time where Jadyn’s battlefield instincts kicked in during every day life, generally making a fool out of himself in public. In his defense, back in Afghanistan, it was jump out of the way and take as many people with you out of the line of danger or get shot to death or blown up. The ‘life or death’ wiring in his brain had yet to be turned off. However, if some thought his current behavior was extreme, then they clearly did not know Jayden those few months after he had come back home.

It was those days that Jayden wished to forget the most.

His mind had tricked him into believing that around every corner was a sniper waiting to take his head off, or under every sidewalk crack a mine field bomb had been planted sitting dormant until the second he stepped on it, patiently lingering around for the moment to blow him up. It took a long time and a great deal of therapy and ‘no you’re not going to die if you close both eyes when you sleep’ talks. Thankfully, the patience of his doctors paid off and the early onset of what could have become a severe case of PTSD had been stopped in its tracks.

Only God knows how he could have turned out if he hadn’t devoted his time to getting over all the trauma.

A small smile found its way to his face, bringing a light to his hollow eyes as she thanked him the bounded alongside him. Real smiles were rare in Jayden, and it was saying a lot that this girl was slowly bringing out the best of him that he had buried after his fiancé died. He was sucked out of his somber thoughts as Jamie squealed and rushed forward to look at the hippos. Slowly walking up beside her he gazed down at the lazy, fat animals and laughed at her comment before saying,
Hmm, I kinda liked that song. It was my…mom’s favorite song.
Actually, it had been his fiancé’s favorite song, but he wasn’t about to tell her that.

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.359
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; GAAAH –dies-

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

Jamie wrinkled her nose when he said someone actually liked the song, shaking her head. "I probably don't like it because of the fact that my brother would always sing it no matter what time of year it was. It really got on my nerves," she shook her head with a smile, looking at him. He was so handsome even with his barely there smile and his darkness. It wasn't that Jayden was dark per se, but he sure was quiet. Letting herself relax and lean against the wall a bit to watch the hippos, she watched one of them eat a watermelon. Jamie raised her eyebrows, turning her head to look at Jayden softly.

"I used to say I have an appetite like a hippos, but after seeing that I'll never say it again," she shook her head as she spoke, laughing a bit. Stepping away from the hippos she reached out to gently take his arm and lead him to the next exhibit. She didn't really lead him once they started walking, falling in stride behind him and made sure she was walking slow enough for him. The one thing she didn't want on this day was having him hurt himself because he was rushing to keep up with her. Her bright blue eyes looked around at all of the little kids staring at animals in cages and moms chasing their children who were covered in ice cream. It made her smile since she had been one of those little kids once, except her obsession had been horse shows. If Jamie knew there was a horse show nearby she would beg her parents to take her until they actually did and at that point she wouldn't leave until the last rider went.

Bringing her attention back to where she was walking she leaned down and grabbed a little kid that a mother was chasing, carefully handing the adorable little boy back. "I hope if I have kids, they're at least somewhat well behaved when they're excited and not running around like mad kids." Oh Jamie remembered how bad she was as she grew up, doing everything she wasn't supposed to. Her dad was a retired Special Ops soldier that ran their house just like a military school so she did whatever she could to rebel against her dad. The worst trouble she had been in was when her dad walked in on her not only being high as a kite on ecstasy, but also having sex with someone in her bed. Well, let's just say she was grounded for near a year and when she was off it, she went right onto probation.

Stopping in front of the zebra habitat she just watched them, automatically studying them for issues. That was a habit of hers that she developed when she started training horses for clients, she'd study for problems. Somehow she stopped herself from doing it, looking up at Jayden gently. Someday she would have to tell him about how bad she could be, what she had done when she was younger and what happened sometimes when she didn't take her medication. Oh, those days were bad.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]
( WORDS )
( TAGGED ) JAYDEN!
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
[/color][/font]

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

Jayden had grown up in a small farming town where everyone knew everyone, where kids were well behaved and young men held open doors for pregnant women and old grandmothers. There was no such thing as a stranger in his home town. If you were new, you weren’t going to be ‘the new kid’ for long, generally within a week a new person would have made at least five new friends. Back in his hometown, everyone watched each other’s backs, there was no cheating or lying because someone always knew the truth and had no problem telling it. Prom dates weren’t stolen on prom night, wives didn’t sleep with other men other than their husband.

It was that camaraderie that had stuck with Jayden all the way through in the army.

While the chance to fuck other girls had come along more than once, he was bound to the honor system that had been deeply burned into his instincts and habits that while other men were cheating on their girls back home, he was staying true to his fiancé, he had promised her that nothing would happen between them to ruin what they had, and he had done everything within his power to keep that promise alive. For the most part, it had lived. The only thing that had wasted away was her, the puzzle left incomplete, unsolved, and forgotten. One bad decision led to a lifetime of regret and suffering.

For that very reason, getting Jayden to drink was impossible.

Smiling as Jamie simply babbled on about why she probably didn’t like the song and about her appetite he was quickly led away to the next exhibit, but noticed that she had started to walk slower. There was no better way to get under his skin than to assume that just because he walked with a limp that he couldn’t walk, run, or jump at all. Glaring back at her he let slip a thread of frustration that he thought he had well under control, his eyes darkened as he spoke,
Just because I walk with a limp doesn’t mean that you have to walk any slower.
His voice was surprisingly bitter.

But most people’s naivety about his situation just pissed him off.

If it pained him to walk, then he’d be in a wheel chair. He had worked for a long year in physical therapy just to get to where he could walk without much pain. Sure, waking up in the morning was no easy task, but he had made sure that he’d be able to walk without a great deal of pain that would have kept him from living his life. The rest of the way to the zebra exhibit he was quiet and cold, mostly ignoring her as she bounded along beside him. Coming up on the habitat he looked down at the zebras and said,
One of my friends always wanted to own a zebra…
His fiancé had begged him at one point to buy her a zebra.

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.5o3
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; oh well, he was nice while it lasted XD

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

Now Jamie tends to do things that she doesn't even recognize she's doing it. Half the time she'd pick at the hem of her shirts or play with her fingers without even noticing she was doing it. It was a bad habit she had that she had been trying to break for years, obviously it wasn't working. When Jayden snapped at her it kind of knocked her back a bit and she came to a dead stop, just staring at him for a second. Who the hell did he think he was talking to? "Excuse me? First off, never, ever talk to me like that. Second, I was just fucking walking so don't assume I slowed down for you. Sorry, maybe if I started to pity you instead of treating you like a normal person you'd feel better," she snapped back at him, not caring that a few mothers were glaring at her for her choice of words. She turned and went to the zebra habitat, now simply wanting to go home.

She had to bite down on the inside of her cheek just to keep from snapping at him some more, ignoring his little comment about someone wanting a zebra. Shaking her head slowly after a few minutes she took in a slow, deep breath and looked at him. "I think we should call it a day." That was all she said to him, not planning on saying much else either. "I'll give you the money back for the tickets when I get paid next week." There, that would be all that she would say to him. Maybe he'd get the hint that she wasn't going to take his shit since she wasn't everyone else in the world.

In all honesty she hadn't meant to insult him, hadn't meant to piss him off like that. Yeah in the back of her mind she had slowed down for him but half the time she walked slow, she didn't speed walk her way around the world. Now she'd purposely walk normally, which was kind of fast, and see how he felt about it. A good day had just been completely ruined and Jamie wanted no parts of it right now, especially since she could go finish exercising a few of her training projects at the other barn instead of giving them a second day off in a row. She was pretty pissed off and if he said she should stay, she wouldn't. Jamie would leave him in the middle of the zoo by himself looking like an ass.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]
( WORDS )
( TAGGED ) JAYDEN!
( NOTES ) Hahaha Jamie can be such a bitch lol
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
[/color][/font]

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

Clearly, he was not the only one offended by the situation. As Jamie snapped back at him he narrowed his eyes and ignored the handful of concerned mothers that glanced their way, possibly worried that the two would break out in a fit of domestic violence any moment. Taking a step back he crossed his arms across his chest and tightened his jaw as she went on. A flash of red frustration rushed across his vision and ran rampant in his veins. Suddenly he felt light headed, it had been a long time since he had let his anger take the reins, and worryingly enough, most of those times was when he was holding an automatic or semi-automatic weapon in his hands. The army had turned him into an a plus killer, capable of being a good shot while being angry at the same time.

Jamie suggested that perhaps it was best if their ‘date’ was over.

The more he thought about it, the more Jayden was reminded as to why he didn’t date anymore. The first time he had tried, it ended about the same way this one was ending; with a fight. How was he to deny his first nature, though? It was deeply imprinted in his blood, mind, habits to pick fights and come out on top unless he wanted to die; he had to have the last word, things had to go his way. Unfortunately, he was also desperately self conscious about his leg. True, there’s no real reason as to why he worries about it, perhaps it was something he had given his mind to keep itself busy with and off the shadows that could very possibly be holding machine guns pointed at his head.

He also never said ‘sorry’.

In Afghanistan, he never had to say sorry after picking a fight with the other side and putting bullet holes in their head. So in his mind, if he got away with that, then why on earth would he have to apologize in a simple situation like this? Sadly, he had forgotten the rules of a civilized society, not only was he an a plus killer, he was also a grade a barbarian. Half of him wanted to yell at her, to tell her they weren’t even ‘friends’, that he could talk to her in whatever fucking way he wanted, but he really didn’t want to have her throw a punch his way, then have his stupid little instincts kick in and he’d lunge at her. Somehow, he did not see that scenario ending very well.

Instead he resorted to simply standing there and glaring.

Rocking back on his heels, he chewed the side of his cheek, trying to control his anger before speaking. Looking down at the map he had not remembered taking from her in his hands he glared at her and shoved it back into her hands before snapping back at her,
Nope, I don’t want to be paid back, kinda stupid for you to spend a petty three dollars on me since obviously the entire day has gone to shit, maybe if it had lasted a few hours longer I’d consider my time and money wasted.
He honestly didn’t care anymore, he had enough money from his government paycheck that a few dollars was nothing off his back, he would most certainly not lose sleep at night over the wasted three dollars. Not necessarily having anything more to say he turned and began to walk away. What had the army done to him? What had his fiancé’s death done to him?

Left him hollow, that’s what.

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.6o5
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; LOL WELL THAT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED XD

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

All of a sudden Jamie felt horrible for snapping back at him. Her decent day had been ruined, and the one guy that had bothered to actually look at her in a few years was now walking away from her. Not to mention he pretty much said it was a waste of his time, then she felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes. People were looking at her just standing there with a crumpled map in her hands after a fight. Then embarrassment set in so she turned and started to walk after him.

Jamie walked with her head down so people wouldn't be able to see her face, but mor importantly so her makeup didn't run down her face. Within a few of her tiny strides she was behind Jayden, reaching out and wrapping her hand around his arm. "Stop," she knew he probably wouldn't stop but at least she could try. "I'm not a waste of your time." Jamie let go of him just in case he decided to keep walking and ignore her, which would only make her day worse. She wouldn't be going to the barn now if he did leave because she was heading towards a really, really bad day and tears and horses don't mix what so ever.

The last time Jamie had had a date she had been 18 and that relationship didn't last terribly long. The guy had turned out to be a douche bag and did exactly what Jayden was doing to her now, walking away. That boy had walked away from Jamie in the middle of prom all because he didn't like something she ahd said, had taken it the wrong way and she came back at him. The worst habit Jamie had was not controlling her tongue no matter the situation. She had lost quite a few clients due to that, those that left deserved to go bitch at another trainer and not tell her what to do. Wasn't the entire point of sending your horse to a trainer was so that someone else could work on your horse for you? Well, apparently some people never get that memo so Jamie tended to lose a client every so often because of her tongue. And now...maybe a chance at a decent relationship with not only a hot guy, but a sweet one at that.

Tempers always seemed to take the best of relationships. Instead of allowing people to calm down, not be so hotheaded, everyone jumped down each others throat. Jamie just happened to be one of those people that didn't allow for a chance to calm down, she went on auto-pilot and that got her in a lot of trouble...

( OUTFIT ) [/b]
( WORDS )
( TAGGED ) JAYDEN!
( NOTES ) All finished now :3
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
[/color][/font]

[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

Crying was one of the few emotions Jayden did not know how to handle. He could tolerate happiness and anger until the world imploded. He could deal with death and despair all day long. He could kill and only feel a slight twinge of pain in his heart for the fallen human being whose name he did not know. Yet, asking him to properly comfort someone was like asking him to translate ancient Sumerian or Babylonian texts; he just simply could not do it. He had been in a situation where he had inadvertently made someone else cry, and the best he could do was hand her a couple bucks and tell her to go buy her something nice. Obviously that didn’t go very well, but what the hell was he supposed to do when he had been trained that sympathy was just as equal as failure to raise one’s gun in the military?

Animalistic. Regretless. Heartless.
That’s what little soldiers are made of.

And the government had made sure that Jayden was the best of the best, top of the line. With him, there was no mistaking their intent. They had trained him to the point of becoming a brainless machine, except for the fact that he did not rely on a computer chip to guide him, he had his own human instincts still intact; the only thing missing was the human emotion, and that made him a much wanted, much sought after soldier. Oddly enough, for being such a ‘good’ soldier, his first plan was never to be a part of the armed forces of the government. It had been a last minute thing, when he didn’t get accepted into a certain college, instead of just attending community college like his girlfriend, friends, and parents told him; he stepped out of the box and sold his soul to the United States army.

Jayden always acted on last impulses.

That’s why when he felt Jamie grab his arm, he instinctively ripped his arm out of her grip and spun around to face her, only to be met with tear filled eyes, and he shrunk back, losing the hardness in his jaw and softening his eyes he took a step back, well out of her arm range in the event she felt the need to swing at him (he’d punch him if he were her). He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes tightly and trying to block out the feel of a few hundred eyes staring at him (at them). Under the public scrutiny and feeling their moral obligations he completely relaxed and opened his eyes again, still missing that real sincerity, but at least he was trying, his voice was quiet, almost to the point that only Jamie could hear,
I did not say you were a waste of my time, I said that had this happened a little later in the day I may have considered it a waste of my time.

Still not a ‘sorry’, but for Jayde, talking to someone after he had deliberately walked away was a step in the right direction to civilizations and actual human emotion.

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.528
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; I’m sorry this took so long D:

[mouse]

i think the spotlight always gives you stage fright
†WISH THIS ALL WOULD END RIGHT†

†STOP MAKING MY HEAD SPIN†
it's over but what if we just pretend

So if she had been on time it would have been a waste of his time, not just something occupying his brain for a mere hour or so. Oh yeah, that made the petite girl feel so much better about herself right then and there. Factor in all of those people looking at her and you had an outright disaster going on in her brain. Jamie had her eyes set downward at the ground where she'd be able to somewhat hide from everyone staring...well more hiding from Jayden. Yeah, she just didn't want to look at him because that would make her even more upset. He was slowly making her think of him as nothing more than an asshole who wasn't worth her time, all the better to beat him in riding if that were the case.

Shaking her head she carefully brushed the tears from her cheeks, having caught the look he was giving her. He may have softened his face but she could see those eyes of his. He wasn't sorry what-so-ever, she caught it as he was being bothered by the fact she tried to stop him. Taking in a slow breath she tried to think of something to say but nothing was coming to her mind. "I..I guess...I'm just gonna go then." Her voice was incredibly soft with a little bit of a fearful tone creeping through. Yes, she was outright scared shitless of Jayden now. He had almost just hit her in the face throwing a king-sized hissy fit when she grabbed his arm and he had made her feel like an ass. Jamie had cursed in front of a good two dozen children in the middle of the zoo at a guy she was on a date with. Oh yes this just made her feel so amazingly good about herself.

Well, this is exactly how life had been for her within the past few years. She would get all excited because she was going on a date and then a fight would happen, or the guy would just be an ass that repeatedly pissed her off. This time she actually wanted to make it work, actually had wanted to make it work. After all, Jayden said this could have been a waste of his time if it had been earlier in the day, which didn't make sense to Jamie at all. What would a mere hour or so do to his time? She could be home training the four other horses she was being paid to work with instead of being here but because she actually wanted a chance at a relationship, she came. Well fuck her right?

"I'll see you around the barn. I'm not standing here looking like a fucking ass anymore." She shook her head, simply throwing the map in the trash can as she passed it and headed for the gate. Of course people watched her walk out the gate, soon turning their gaze to Jayden who was standing by himself. Jamie wanted no parts of this anymore, she simply wanted to go home and go for a ride. Her short strides weren't getting her to her car fast enough though, and she was not running in a skirt. People blocked her way, which she apologized as she nearly ran over them, and just kept walking. Jamie was getting to her car and she was going to get there quickly, before dead-hearted soldier dick caught up with her.

( OUTFIT ) [/b]
( WORDS ) Five Hundred Seventy Eight
( TAGGED ) JAYDEN!
( NOTES ) Eeeets ok :3 I was pretty busy myself.
( BANNER ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
( LYRICS ) camera shy by school boy humor
( LAYOUT ) xxmizzbry of caution 2.0
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[jayden]

head strong ill take on anyone.

As little as he ever truly admitted it, he had been enjoying Jamie’s company, and while topically he did not feel bad, past layers of dead emotion now left rotting in his soul, he was beginning to feel worse and worse for how visibly distraught Jamie was. Once upon a time, he would have known how to properly react to the tears. If he were a touchy-feely man, he’d probably hugged her. If he were a sensitive man, he’d profusely apologize. If he were a man with chivalrous morals, he’d probably calm her down and watch his steps and spend a great deal of money on her and compliment her as much as he could. And as much as Jayden wished he could be the man he was before, he knew full well that trying to be someone he was most certainly not anymore would be an invitation for disaster.

At least no one could criticize him for being a part of society.

Still, he wouldn’t mind having that eloquence that most normal and civilized people had. Sure, he had it once, but obviously he was doing a really bad job of reclaiming what sanity he had from the dark depths of insanity that had been strategically fused into his instincts. Though mostly emotionless on the outside, save for the softened posture and sloping shoulders, Jayden was as distraught and frustrated at Jamie. Not frustrated with her, no. His irritation that had caused all of the current problems had long since subsided, now he was simply frustrated that he was doing everything wrong and making very little progress in his efforts to try the right thing.

While he did not like to handle tears, to see tears sliding down her cheeks pained him.

It was like being shackled and forced to watch yourself effortlessly destroy any happiness or chance at happiness in your life. Helpless to stop what he had started, the dominoes had been set and were all falling. At least he wasn’t the only one completely irritated, misery loved company, didn’t it? He knew, the second she started to speak, that she could tell he wasn’t as sorry as he was trying to be. He thought she could have at least given him some brownie points for trying; it was rare that he even lasted this long after an argument. But now it was like he was trying to pick up sand with a cup with lots of holes, all of his efforts were simply a waste; clearly he had pushed it past the point of repair.

Not like this would be the first time he’d run someone off.

At least he could take comfort in the fact that no matter what, he never broke tradition. When she spoke, he could hear the fear in her voice, and he felt like he was being shot in the heart. She was scared. Scared of him. Never before had someone exhibited fear towards him, and he could feel his heart bleeding. The last fight he had gotten into with his late fiancé was the last time someone was fearful towards him. While he could take fear from men, fear from women was something totally different. Now he felt like he had joined the ranks of abusive individuals.

Wasn’t he the catch to bring home to mother?

When she turned around and started to hurriedly walk off, the small amount of people that had been watching them and their pathetic antics stared at him. The moral obligations of the public pushed him forward. Before he knew it, he was taking long strides to catch up to her, muttering I’m sorry’s and excuse me’s as he brushed past people, keeping his eyes trained on Jamie. Perhaps he was making a mistake by trying to fix it again, but it was the thought that counts, right? Without thinking, he reached out and softly grabbed her shoulder, before taking a few steps to stop in front of her, looking at her, in her eyes, he reflected a sorrow and sympathy that had been long since buried, his voice was softer than before,
First off, don’t turn your back to someone that you’re mad at. Second off, you have to understand that I do not handle anything social very well anymore, and I really am trying, and from the bottom of that black, cold thing in my chest I dare call a heart, I am sorry for wasting your time.

Figuring by now, if he moved she’d either stay put or run away, he stepped back at crossed his arms, one hand rubbing his face.

---

character;; JAYDEN
word count;; O.770
reservations;; JAMIE
notes;; blech.