THIS RESTLESS WARRIOR [v.2]

[--MONSTER MESSENGER]

Welcome back to the second edition of my blog on my own little corner of the magnificent world wide web. Now, what many of you may not have known is that I’m pretty knowledgeable in the equine world (no I’m not Show Monger, that’d be stupid). Being a close friend with Show Monger (mostly on the basis that we love gossip, drama, tears, hook ups, heartaches, and heartbreaks), there are times when she’ll drag me along to the shows, promising me that there’ll be something interesting. Now, 99.99% of the time I’m reluctant to go because I’m cheap and don’t really want to pay the visitor’s parking fee, but Monger promised me that this show was going to be a good one.

All I can say is…damn. Bitch didn’t lie about that.


--IN SHOW NEWS

[/b] suffered the worst. It was shocking that she even got Switchblade into the ring in the first place. As they went around the outside of the ring, the first time the tent flapped in his face he flew sideways, almost dumping his small rider in the dirt. But like a spider monkey, Nova somehow managed to hang on and shove him into the ring. From there it only went downhill, many course errors, refusals to perform some moves etc, etc brought down her score significantly. After her ride, I noticed her husband talking to her and pointing quite angrily at the gelding. He was probably telling her to sell that piece of crap…and I don’t blame him.

Shockingly, things only got more dramatic from there.

At the start of the pony rounds (which Monger had specifically told me to watch), I was silently complaining about having to watch little girls pilot broke ponies around the ring, but Faith Morris and Danielle Marks seemed determined to prove me wrong. Watching the two girls warm up on their ponies, I determined that Danielle’s pony, Kasanova was far from fazed by the wind, as was Nova Bente’s The Unforgiven. The pony I had my eye on most of the time was Faith’s Mi Amor. The little black mare was constantly darting at corners, ducking her shoulder, stopping at jumps, flying upwards when someone walked by the ring…hell. I wonder how she stayed on. The real drama did not start until a loud clap of thunder shook the Great Southwest Equestrian Center complex, sending Mi Amor flying. I assume the bitch took the bit in her mouth and ran because everything Faith tried was pointless. As they rounded a corner, I saw the collision before it happened. Cringing as Mi Amor simply charged at Kasanova, running into her and sending Faith flying into Dani, who was caught off guard by the UFF (Unidentified Flying Faith). As the two tumbled to the ground, most of the activity in the warm-up stopped as poor, poor Grace only watched the chaos unfold. Kasanova took a couple laps before allowing herself to be caught by Blaise Garcia, while Mi Amour continued to careen around the arena. Taking out two warm-up jumps and a poor 10 year old, after about the fifteenth lap, Mi Amour stopped and allowed her distraught owner to catch her and get back on. I was happy to see that Iona Donaldson on Bonnie Prince Charlie escaped the madness unscathed.

Funnily enough, Nova’s pony The Unforgiven simply stood and fell asleep as the world unraveled at the seams.

Speaking of Blaise Garcia, he did not seem too happy to see his girlfriend Grace Moselle riding when she wasn’t supposed to be. While Grace was warming up one of her student’s new horses MT Arctic Low, it seems that the Mexican-born rider came out of nowhere as he popped Grace on the back with the racing bat (ow!) that he used to beat Time Square. Afterwards, I noticed the two exchanging mildly heated words and welts. I’d say the racing bat won that one…and oddly…they were both mostly smiling. Did I just learn something about the couple that I never want to know about anyone? I hope not.

For the most part, the Jumper rounds went smoothly, as if all of the good drama had been wasted on the greedy Hunters (damn them!)

Western involved a bit of interesting drama. Reining was quite a joy to watch as Tory Walker’s Heza Big Boy (who I’ve heard has a barn name of Bear…that’s just asking to get killed) refused to slide to a stop, he just kept going. There’s the problem with young stallions. Funny…Heza Big Boy isn’t even that big, but…he is only three. Western trainer Travis Loveland was on a horse I haven’t seen by the name of National Treasure. Judging by the way this horse was acting (darting every which way at a clap of thunder, flash of lightning, call of another horse, crackle of the loud speaker you name it), I’d say it was National Treasure’s first outing. Shockingly…the two came in first. I suppose that just goes to show that this is a nice horse in the making, when he’s not being a shit, right?

Sadly, I have no other kind of ‘interesting’ news to report, just the hell from the Spring Series Show part one in Katy, Tx.[/ul]

That's all for now you hungry little gossipmongers! Until next time.

KEEPIN' IT REAL,
MONSTER MESSENGER

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[daniellemarks]

Let me say, being hit by a UFF hurt like a bitch.

I have the bruises still to prove it! Maybe if said rider could actually steer we wouldn't have this issue. But they aren't as bad as the ones Grace has from her and Blaise's little beating fest, I can tell you that.

PS, Kaelee (Kasanova) is a she, not a he ;D

[faith]

LOL. UFF. I like that title.

Hey, Danielle, you think being hit by a UFF hurt? How about you try being a UFF, it's not easy, I can tell you that. I've got my fair share of bruises too, darling. At least both of our horses are not neurotic wrecks.....well.....Kaelee isn't. Can't say the same about Love....

[--MONSTER MESSENGER]

Ah, see. I don't go to these shows enough to know (or particularly care) about the gender of your mount, but I suppose if it's gong to chafe your baby soft skin and irritate you that I called your darling pony a he, then it may as well behoove me to change it, yes?


And Faith, you've got a great deal of grace when flying through the air. You must teach me your falling off techniques.