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Post by courtree on Jan 6, 2011 22:54:56 GMT -8
Clearly she hadn't thought this through. She had known her words would hurt, but she didn't know to the degree, and now, after having said them already, regret filled her, she couldn't help it. She knew this wasn't her, well, her old self, and how much longer would the people who really knew her put up with it? The first question was answered as Scott stopped to look down at her before tensing. Shit. Every muscle seeming to have frozen, and his face, oh god that look. Fear coursed throughout her body, almost enough to make her wince as he spoke. She darted her gaze away from him, not wanting the fear to be seen as her breath caught. The fear wasn't of him, but rather the thought of him. The thought of him leaving her, or moving on. She knew they were selfish thoughts, but lately that's all she had been. Selfish, moody, cold. Honestly, she could hardly even think about being her old self. One that would give the boy an easy smile, gently caress his face and tell him that they would figure things out, and that everything would turn out fine so long as they had each other. Regardless of how cliche it sounded, Josh wanted to believe it.
No matter how much she wanted to believe it, she knew things would never be the same, and as his words came out, it basically finalized the thought. Things would never be the same. Once again, she found the truth in the boys words, but she couldn't bring herself to admit it out loud, to tell him how right he was. Hurtful words spouted into her head, threatening to spew out her mouth simply to redeem herself. She didn't like feeling below someone, especially since it was Scott making her feel this way. He knew her past, knew her, which made things all the worse. She could feel his gaze on her, but she didn't bother to look, she didn't want any unwarranted words to come out, and looking away seemed to be the only way she could bite her tongue.They stood for a moment in silence before he turned to the side, and at first, Josh was sure he was going to just walk away, at this point, she couldn't really blame him if he did, and she found herself putting her arms out, hands going to pull him back, but he didn't move, and just as quickly, she dropped her hands and taking a step back from him she brought her gaze to his face and the look he held on it reminded her so much of when she first met him, but there was something else there, something she couldn't make out, or maybe she could, but didn't want to admit it to herself.
"Well, my apartment keys are on that set,
[/color] she spoke, trying to not sound bitter, though she couldn't be sure how well she hid it, "and I'm not leaving that car here. I've had...a few, and I'm pretty sure you had at least one drink.."[/color] thinking about it, this was probably the most talking she had ever done and she couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed about it all. She knew what drunk rambling sounded like, and she hated it. "So... I'd say the pooch is screwed"[/color]. She knew the saying, or at least she thought she did, though as of right now she didn't care. She thought for a moment, contemplating different scenarios before thinking of the best one, or in her head it was the best one "So try not to crash. Don't want all my fun taken away in one night"[/color]. She stood there for a moment longer before meandering her way back toward her car. She knew he wouldn't give her the keys back, or maybe he would once they got to her building, but then she would be back at square one. The possibilities were endless. Notes:[/b] Bleh -.- [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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Post by Scott Jacob Mason on Jan 11, 2011 16:17:12 GMT -8
 HEY SWEETIE, I NEED YOU HERE TONIGHT
The idea that maybe coming here to find Josh hadn’t been a good one was even more cemented into my mind, now. She obviously didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, as far as I could tell, maybe her mother had been right in refusing to tell me where her daughter had run away to when I had begged her to tell me. But a part of me knew I couldn’t have just left it at that, let her go, without trying. My whole life had begun to revolve around the girl standing near me, since she was the only thing that was keeping me from slowly killing myself, and I didn’t have anybody else anymore. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in years, even when I had stopped fighting, I guess I was still mad at her for making me leave, or maybe I was ashamed of it all, so it wasn’t like I could have gone to her about it, leaving me left alone again.
Maybe, after tonight, I would just leave. I wasn’t even sure if I would get an answer out of her while she was sober; I sure as hell wasn’t getting one out of her while she was drunk. Where I would go, I had no idea. Probably not back to where I had come from, no, there were too many memories there, and I didn’t think I could handle it. Not that I was handling it very well at the moment, as it was. The thought of maybe trying to find someone else crossed my mind, very briefly, but I knew that wouldn’t work, not even a little. But I couldn’t leave myself completely alone, if she didn’t want me back.
She finally broke the silence. I nodded slightly, still not looking at her, looking out towards the road, trying to make myself relax a bit, I was still tense. I waited for her to move, before I followed, a few paces behind, spotting her abandoned shoes off to one side, bending down to scoop them up as an afterthought, before fishing the keys back out of my pocket, unlocking the car and getting in. I threw the shoes on the floor of the passenger’s side, starting the engine once she was safely inside the car.
“Where to?”
I JUST FEEL COMPLETE WHEN YOU'RE BY MY SIDE
tagged Josh & Smoothie
words 386
muse Closer - The Corrs
notes *hums*
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Post by courtree on Jan 16, 2011 22:10:11 GMT -8
Things were spiraling downwards for her, and fast. Of course she was the one who was doing it to herself, but it would be easier to just blame things on everyone else. So much easier. It hurt that he continued to look away, but Josh could easily tell he was trying to calm himself. It hurt equally as much to know that she was the cause of it, wasn't she? She she made her way to the car, the coldness on her feet finally sunk in. Where the hell are my shoes?! she thought irritably to herself. She spun around, not exactly quickly, but enough to cause her to slightly stumble, and in time to see Scott bend down and gather her shoes. Talk about making an ass of yourself. She turned back around to hide the embarrassment clearly displayed on her face. Who in the right mind would stick around after the things I've done? To fight with me...all for what? thoughts started to seep back into her head, knowing questions would arise with them being together.
She open the car door, setting herself in before slamming the door realizing it was the wrong side that needed to be slammed. Perfect, now he probably thought she was being even more of a bitch. Pushing him, slamming doors, what was next? A slap to the face? She push that image away quickly, knowing she could never bring herself to cause physical pain on the guy she loved. Made no sense seeing as the situation they were in was far beyond hurtful. His voice brought her back into reality, and it took her a moment to respond, her mind trying to sort everything that wanted to come out from the directions on how to get to her apartment. "Uh...Follow this street... till you reach Beltway, then onto....Surveyor. Only apartment buildings on the road..I think" she spoke, trying to keep her tone blunt. She didn't know if he knew his way around Addison, and to be honest, she was really that familiar with it either, but her directions replayed in her head and they seemed right.
Things went quiet in the car, and Josh didn't know if she should say something. Like what? Thanks for probably saving my life, but I kinda wanted to plaster that car into a brick wall? Stop being so ridiculous. What kinda person did it make you when you had a conversation with yourself in your head? Whatever. The vehicle hadn't even moved and already it seemed forever ago she had gotten in it.
Notes:
[/b] -.- [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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